Life is Strange – Mad at the Internet 2025-07-21

0:00:21
Unknown_30: Yeah, bitch, I'm a cow, bitch, I'm a cow I'm not a cat, I don't say now Bitch, I'm a cow, bitch, I'm a cow Bitch, I'm a cow, bitch, I'm a cow I go moo, moo, moo, moo I said, bitch, I'm too small

Unknown_31: Stop being racist in chat.

Unknown_25: You know my rules. This kind woman just wants to share her experience with being trans cow and you're being fucking racist.

0:01:18
Unknown_25: I think it's better than being trans-trans-deer. I'm still traumatized over that shit.

Unknown_25: Oh, jeez. I guess I have to cut this off early. You guys are being fucking assholes. I don't know why you gotta bully the fucking cow. She just wants to provide milk and hamburgers. Am I streaming right now? I'm fucking streaming. Yes, I'm streaming, you asshole. If my voice sounds even shakier than usual, it's because it's cold as fuck here. It's really fucking cold. It's currently 5 degrees Celsius. It gets down to negative 2 today, which is below freezing. That's fucking, that's cold. And I don't want to cut the radiator on because I don't know if it'll burn down the house. I don't trust these Soviet water radiators. Fuck that shit.

0:01:53
Unknown_22: Josh, go take a shower. Fuck off. Fuck off, mom.

Unknown_22: Oh, God. All right, let's boot up the video. Oh, shit, I flubbed in the steam.

Unknown_29: Here, I'm going to try to put something on to warm me up. Hold up.

0:02:28
Unknown_29: I need to fix this.

Unknown_29: There we go. That's comfy. That'll warm me up.

Unknown_25: This fake fireplace. This is a cozy stream. We got, we got cow lady jazz. We got a fireplace going. Oh, perfect.

Unknown_29: Hurry up steam.

Unknown_29: All right. All right, children. This is it.

Unknown_29: So to recap, the, uh,

0:03:04
Unknown_25: The last chapter, or the first chapter, we are a little girl in college for some reason. She's the biggest hipster to ever fucking live.

Unknown_25: We discover that everybody in the town is a complete fucking psychopath. Nobody thinks rationally ever. Everybody's suspicious of one another. Despite this being a small hipster town in Oregon, everybody is just the biggest fucking psychotic ever to live. Oh, and the main character has time travel abilities, but she only uses it to be a catty bitch and get one-ups on people in conversations.

Unknown_25: In the second chapter, we got back with the blue-haired lady, who I'm trying to fuck. I'm desperately trying to fuck this woman by the end of this game.

0:03:44
Unknown_25: And we got her to shoot herself a bunch of times, and then the Christian girl killed herself because we didn't answer the phone. And now we're going back to it.

Unknown_25: Oh also the main- oh jeez.

Unknown_32: Oh god.

Unknown_14: Oh also this game uses the word hella all the time.

0:04:26
Unknown_03: And there she is.

Unknown_13: How are you doing, Max? Hi, Joyce. I am so sorry about William.

Unknown_03: We have great memories of him. That was his gift to us. Wonderful memories. Let me pull up the stream chat so I can see what you guys are saying. I'm sure it's intelligent, rational shit.

Unknown_17: I'm not horrible. Why the fuck are you wearing her bracelet? You want me to cut you, bitch?

Unknown_15: Please step back.

Unknown_17: Enjoy your stream. Put that down.

Unknown_15: Just wink to all the SFM format, all being said.

0:05:10
Unknown_25: I can't jerk off to something unless I relate to the characters. That's the entire point of this stream.

Unknown_24: I don't know who Bernie Gers is, but I hope he's doing well.

Unknown_34: I like how he says there's an eclipse scheduled, like that's something the government decides.

Unknown_25: Josh playing a faggoty game. Hey, I just want to culturally enrich myself, and I think the best way to do that is to cross the line every so often.

0:05:52
Unknown_25: Oh, is it buffering really bad? God damn it.

Unknown_25: Do I need to reduce the bitrate or something?

Unknown_25: I can reduce the bitrate if that's an issue. Just let me know. I'm still reading chat and shit.

Unknown_25: Okay. I'll do that right now then before I get into it.

Unknown_22: Oh, I'm so bad at this shit.

Unknown_25: Can I just reduce it without, like, rebooting OBS?

0:06:25
Unknown_29: Oh, I think I can.

Unknown_29: Okay, well, I rebooted it.

Unknown_25: And hopefully the buffering is fixed at this point. If not, I don't know what else I can do. Because I dropped the bitrate really fucking...

Unknown_29: Really low So frustrating because I don't This isn't even this isn't even the issue with like the the internet anymore.

0:07:12
Unknown_25: This is just Just my computer I should be speaking now I

Unknown_29: Alright, I'm watching chat.

Unknown_25: Destiny's Discord mods backtrace me. Oh god. I get what I deserve. Okay, it's working now. I'm waiting for it to show up on... Oh, I have to switch over to all purpose. Then switch back to the game. Okay. Checking on my phone, waiting for it to show up.

0:07:48
Unknown_25: I'll let it go ahead and

Unknown_25: Yeah, I just had to drop the bitrate as low as fucking possible.

Unknown_13: I think it works now.

Unknown_13: Okay.

Unknown_25: Sorry, this is me learning how to play computers.

Unknown_13: And if you don't remember, Kate's the Christian girl who killed herself because of the fucking non-answering the cell phone.

0:08:21
Unknown_25: Uh... Okay.

Unknown_25: Oh, I should have watered the plant. That's the most important part of this game. I might walk back into my room.

Unknown_13: You don't have like a fucking light switch in this hall?

Unknown_25: Can I go back into the room and water the plant?

Unknown_25: That's my favorite part of the game.

Unknown_25: Where do we get a bunny from?

0:08:56
Unknown_25: Why I can't water the plant? Well, fucking goddamn!

Unknown_13: Are you a hungry bunny? Here, nosh on this.

Unknown_25: I think nosh is a French word.

Unknown_25: Oh, well watering the fucking plant is something that the game remembers, but feeding the bunny isn't. Let's see how it is.

Unknown_25: Did the power go out? Okay.

0:09:27
Unknown_25: No, I don't know if the power went. I think the lady just doesn't know how light switches work. Avenge Kate. What?

Unknown_25: Are we just going to like... We need to get revenge against the fucking concrete she smashed against.

Unknown_13: This is my prayer for you, Kate.

Unknown_13: Bless your gentle soul.

Unknown_25: Nigga, she dead because you didn't answer your fucking cell phone. Don't try to put that on... Where am I going?

0:10:07
Unknown_25: I guess I should talk to this lady.

Unknown_05: Hi, this lady. I don't even know who this lady is.

Unknown_13: I knew she was depressed, but I had no idea how bad must be serious. Cause you didn't answer your phone. She probably wanted to tell you how depressed she was, but then she had to go shoot Chloe instead. Uh, so why do you think she was on the roof in the first place?

Unknown_05: Maybe Kate was so ashamed. She got wasted on that video. I don't blame her, but it was pretty gross.

0:10:46
Unknown_13: Come on. You really believe that Kate Marsh wanted to get drunk at a Vortex Club party? She's dead and they're still fucking cyberbullying her. This is basically exactly like Kiwi Farms.

Unknown_25: If Kiwi Farms was like a place, like a physical place, it would basically be this...

Unknown_13: Can I try to kill more people?

Unknown_05: Oh, is this the chapter where Victoria gets fucking raped?

0:11:30
Unknown_13: Oh man, I hope she gets raped.

Unknown_25: Victoria's a bitch.

Unknown_13: Victoria isn't here. Maybe I'll just wait and bide my time. Going through her shit.

Unknown_25: Is that a suggestion? To go through her shit?

Unknown_25: That's, uh... Which one's Victoria? God damn it.

Unknown_22: Oh, it's this one over here.

0:12:12
Unknown_25: Rape is in the last chapter. Well, fuck.

Unknown_13: I can't imagine what they filled this fucking game up with.

Unknown_25: What's that noise? It's doing the chime where the game remembers something, but it's not fucking remembering anything.

0:12:43
Unknown_25: Oh, that was a cult killing. That's why Kate died. Victoria was a Satanist.

Unknown_25: Oh, jeez.

Unknown_13: Victoria must have her own power if she found time to steal this from my room.

Unknown_13: Good job.

Unknown_25: Oh, she stole the Bukkake picture. Well, why didn't you post it on the internet? God damn it.

Unknown_13: That's a lot of bank just to clean paint from a sweater.

Unknown_24: Wait, wait, wait. Hold up. You know what? Victoria's secret. She's a geek.

Unknown_25: The fucking... So, when I had the option in the first chapter to take this picture of Victoria covered in paint, that was... Like, the game tells you, like, oh, that's a big deal. But then nothing happens. She just gets the picture back at some point and ruins it. And you don't ever post it on the internet. It's not like she's going to kill herself because I posted it online now or anything. It's just bullshit. Like, nothing changed because of that decision.

0:13:27
Unknown_13: This is the end of the Vortex Club.

Unknown_13: Well, she's got trolls remorse.

Unknown_25: What a bitch.

Unknown_13: Max Cockfield is what it says, not Max Crackfield.

0:14:03
Unknown_25: You did it because you're a field for cocks, lady.

Unknown_25: What am I supposed to be doing? I have no fucking idea what I'm supposed to be doing.

Unknown_25: Yeah, my choices don't matter. That's pretty fucking apparent at this point.

Unknown_25: Can I, like, break into her room? No. Can I leave?

Unknown_22: I hear crying.

0:14:50
Unknown_11: So Chloe is waiting for me in front of the main hall. Is this the Mass Effect 3 video games?

Unknown_25: Apparently. God damn it, Obama.

Unknown_27: This is all your fault.

Unknown_25: What happens if I just walk over there?

Unknown_27: Miss Caulfield. You have to be stealthier than that.

0:15:24
Unknown_25: I'm not being stealthy. I'm walking right in front of you.

Unknown_27: You're not supposed to be outside your dormitory at this hour. You know that. Too wasted.

Unknown_13: I'm sorry, Principal Wells. I'm still upset about Kate. I needed some air and space to walk.

Unknown_27: I'm sorry you had to go through that today. This dude is fucking wasted.

Unknown_22: If he's not wasted, this is terrible acting.

Unknown_27: And I... Uh, okay.

Unknown_27: I have something to show you.

0:15:59
Unknown_13: Meet me in front of campus.

Unknown_25: Get that ass in gear right now. Oh jeez.

Unknown_25: Uh... Oh look, she actually... She actually responded to her fucking mom for once. Look at all this shit. Feminazis will be exterminated. Oh, what the fuck?

Unknown_25: It's the incel uprising. They started with the purest of the girls and now they're gonna get Kate. Or whatever the fuck. Max.

0:16:43
Unknown_25: I feel like there's another way around.

Unknown_13: What? They're just fireflies.

Unknown_25: Shut the fuck up.

Unknown_25: I go this way? Why is there a totem over there?

Unknown_25: What?

0:17:16
Unknown_25: You know what I probably have to wind back time before the guy sits down Or something like when he's when he's thinking about sitting down I have to do something Yeah, I got it I just said that Damn I gave myself an aneurysm

Unknown_27: I know. I have a set of keys on me.

Unknown_25: Run faster, you fucking cunt. Jesus.

Unknown_11: Max the Ninja strikes again. Ah, fuck it.

Unknown_25: Oh, jeez. He said the F word.

Unknown_25: Stealth takedown? I need those swords you have in Deus Ex.

Unknown_25: I stuck by the guy. I got it.

0:18:08
Unknown_12: oh yeah shut the fuck up bitch i just had to sneak yeah like i'm a scary punk ghost shut the fuck up scary and sensitive asshole chloe i watched my friend jump off a roof today i don't think you need to prank me tonight you always trip out on me for not being there for you but now she's concerned for me this is getting worse and worse i'm sorry max i wasn't even thinking

0:18:39
Unknown_14: How do you even get two people to interact this awkwardly?

Unknown_13: I'll never get the image out of my head of Kate jumping off that roof.

Unknown_25: That's because we watched it about 50 times.

Unknown_14: It didn't mean shit. I know seeing Kate fall was horrible. I don't even know how to deal with that, so I just... We need a new pull. It's your badass power that's going to bring all this to a close. We just need to connect the players.

Unknown_25: I don't even know what to ask.

Unknown_14: And we find out who really killed Kate. We have to stop this from happening to anybody else.

Unknown_20: All of these options are awful.

0:19:20
Unknown_13: Snow and eclipses are bad omens?

Unknown_14: Yeah. I hope they let us out.

Unknown_14: That's what I'm trying to do. That's my goal for this game. Nobody's gonna die.

Unknown_25: I'm pretty sure this is it. This is the entire game. The only person who's dying is me. I'm dying on the inside. I don't want to talk about any of these people!

Unknown_14: We need to find out more about who Rachel was involved with. Oh my god. She was able to blend in with everybody. Even with people like David. I got an idea for a poll.

0:19:57
Unknown_25: Hold up.

Unknown_25: I'm gonna sort out a poll. We're gonna take a breather here.

Unknown_25: The cam's already wearing on my fucking patience. Smash.

Unknown_24: Uh...

0:20:32
Unknown_25: And one more for good measure.

Unknown_25: Alright, you guys argue amongst yourself over who you want to fuck the most.

Unknown_25: I should inflate my testicles with silicon maybe one day.

Unknown_25: Alright, the clear winner right now is the corpse of Kate.

0:21:04
Unknown_25: Please don't fuck dead girls, guys. Come on now. Have some restraint. Have some respect for the deceased.

Unknown_13: Oh, God.

Unknown_25: Fuck the truth.

Unknown_14: I just want to find my friend right now. It scares me to think where she could be. Do you think she's...

Unknown_25: Ah, this dude dead.

Unknown_15: No, why'd you say it?

Unknown_14: Why is that even an option if you're gonna apologize for me?

0:21:41
Unknown_13: Fuck off!

Unknown_14: Wait, she stole the keys from the black guy? Oh god.

Unknown_14: You're killing me.

Unknown_25: You're literally killing me, game.

Unknown_25: I should have just left them at partner and then had them fuck.

0:22:15
Unknown_06: Yeah, insert groan here.

Unknown_25: The game fucking knows. The game knows it's unbearable.

Unknown_06: Oh god, she wants to fuck that guy so bad.

Unknown_32: Oh, I can't wait for this bitch to get raped. Can't fucking wait.

0:22:58
Unknown_32: I've got all the photos, except one from Max.

Unknown_06: I'll give you a one-word sneak preview of Max's photo. Selfie.

Unknown_06: Listen, you've seen my entry. You know it's better than that.

Unknown_25: I should play Postal 2?

Unknown_06: Wouldn't that be so cool? I might play Postal 2 in real life at this point.

Unknown_25: I can't skip these, by the way. Look. I'm pressing the button. It doesn't let me.

Unknown_06: It doesn't let me. It's not like you're playing favorites. Just imagine if you picked my photo, though. We would have to spend a lot of time together. That could be fun, don't you think?

0:23:32
Unknown_32: Why'd you start early? I felt like it.

Unknown_06: Damn.

Unknown_32: That fucking hipster just destroyed that thought.

Unknown_25: Just fucking annihilated her.

Unknown_25: You got blown the fuck out, lady. Then you're gonna get raped. That's what you get for being a bitch.

0:24:08
Unknown_25: Rape her. Hold her down and fucking finger blast her. She's alone.

Unknown_13: Oh look, they're holding hands and shit.

Unknown_25: They're so fucking gay. Just fuck.

Unknown_13: Chloe the Keymaster. You know it.

0:24:40
Unknown_25: Narco must be triggered. Kiwi farms is making more funny from the site.

Unknown_13: Hopefully already in so much trouble I hope they leave mention me in the in the suicide now serious We're breaking and entering if I have a key.

Unknown_14: How can it be breaking? I get just for entering I'm serious.

Unknown_13: Yes, they can jail not if I'm related to the head of Blackwell security Step shit will not want me in the hands of the local police So we better find out what's in the principal's office first. Oh

Unknown_25: If it's buffering, it's because of me.

0:25:12
Unknown_14: It's not because of the game or the stream. Like, it's just my computer shitting itself.

Unknown_14: Am I really just watching her do this?

Unknown_25: Is this the game?

0:25:46
Unknown_25: Can I step outside and do something else?

Unknown_25: Can I go to the bathroom?

Unknown_25: That's sweet.

Unknown_11: A long time ago, Nathan got smacked down.

Unknown_25: End of the world party. Is this like a Y2K? What the fuck are you doing?! Can you not open a fucking door?!

Unknown_14: Break it down. Smash it. Smash it to a billion pieces.

0:26:19
Unknown_25: Your thief skill, oh god.

Unknown_14: Is this really what they want me to do?

0:26:52
Unknown_25: Really? They're just gonna have me search drawers? Alright, everybody in chat, I want you to make up what we're finding in these drawers. Just tell me what you think. Because they're not telling me.

Unknown_25: It could be like hentai magazines or like lewd pictures of all the students. Or uh, Skittles and Arizona iced tea.

Unknown_13: The bad dragon dildo.

0:27:24
Unknown_14: Feminist poetry. Child pornography, the plot.

Unknown_25: Oh no.

Unknown_25: If it was the plot, it would just be a single page. Oh, the Lost Sonichu comics. I like that one.

Unknown_13: Just bubble hearth. You'll be okay. Listen, I need your physics expertise stat. Wait, why are we on a phone call right now? If somebody had access to the art and science labs and wanted to construct a device that would, say, open a locked door, would you maybe kind of know how? What the fuck is happening? No, I'm just asking for fun. Thanks, science guy.

0:27:57
Unknown_25: Is he asking Warren? Don't talk to Warren. Warren's a fucking faggot.

Unknown_25: Don't, no, don't send it over text message that's called evidence.

Unknown_13: They're gonna keep logs of that shit. You guys are fucking retarded. Oh, no.

Unknown_25: I don't want to owe a favor to Warren.

Unknown_14: He's a faggot.

Unknown_14: Sorry, Max. I got nothing. What about your plan?

0:28:28
Unknown_13: I'm gonna go put it together. Can you stay here and not get caught? They're sending instructions on how to make a bomb of her text message.

Unknown_25: This is, oh, if there is a plot twist in this where her text messages get searched and she gets in trouble because of that shit, I would be so fucking mad. Look at this shit. This is called evidence.

Unknown_25: Oh, fuck you guys.

Unknown_25: It's a powder used to create chlorine. Oh, geez.

0:29:00
Unknown_25: This is like domestic terrorism charges now. It's not even fucking... Warren is such a classic nerd.

Unknown_13: Let's see if I can find those... Oh, he's a classic nerd because he knows what fucking sodium chloride is.

Unknown_25: Fuck you.

Unknown_25: I'm gonna have a fucking stroke.

Unknown_25: I hate that formal insult.

Unknown_11: Wait, hold up.

Unknown_25: Hold up. I have an idea to make this interesting. To add a little bit of pizzazz to the stream.

Unknown_25: Keep things moving along in the background.

0:29:37
Unknown_25: Wait, that's the wrong one. That's a white ramp. This isn't a white ramp time. This is a music time. Hopefully this is it.

Unknown_25: No, that's the wrong one. I'm getting closer though. Next time will be the charm.

Unknown_25: One, four, there we go. That's it. That's the ticket.

Unknown_01: All right.

Unknown_25: All right, we got this.

0:30:09
Unknown_25: i think my game is shitting itself because i'm streaming two things at once now but we're set what do i need where did warren's thing go oh there we go sugar soda can duct tape sodium chloride okay i got it i need this Soda can so you See any sodium chloride let me know This is so not sodium chloride oh geez This mixture Lady, please stop.

0:31:05
Unknown_25: Uh, nope. You're killing my buzz. I wanted to do some alaah shit, but now I can't find any fucking sodium chloride.

Unknown_25: Wait, hold up. Does anybody know if it's actually in that room?

Unknown_25: Like, is it in a different room? Desire lines would know. Oh, what?

0:31:41
Unknown_25: Wait.

Unknown_25: No, it's something else, isn't it? Sodium chlorate, not sodium chloride. I'm sorry.

Unknown_25: Oh, there's a can. I need that. Give me.

Unknown_13: Okay, I have the can.

Unknown_25: I have a hella can.

Unknown_13: You're halfway home, Max.

Unknown_25: You don't remember- What the fuck are you good for, Desire Alliance? Tell- Ugh, jeez, this fucking guy. Please.

Unknown_25: Please respond. Please.

0:32:12
Unknown_25: Fucking incel. Ignore that nigga. That gay nigga.

Unknown_13: Everybody's asleep.

Unknown_13: I hate to wake them up, but I want a picture.

Unknown_25: We're making a bomb Why are you why are you thinking about fish pictures fucking retard?

Unknown_13: a periodic table Wish I knew what periodic means the way you don't let women do chemistry This game is the best propaganda against the West

0:32:50
Unknown_25: I really have no, like, this is what frustrates me, is like, this is not like a fucking puzzle or anything. This is just bullshit.

Unknown_25: There's no reason to have this pause in the game.

Unknown_13: They have me look... It's just the classroom at night!

Unknown_25: Oh, I got some duct tape. This is good for raping Victoria later. We're gonna need it. The fuck is sodium chlorate?

Unknown_25: See, I'm as dumb as the fucking woman. I don't even know what that is.

Unknown_25: Maybe it's probably in the janitor's closet or some shit.

0:33:29
Unknown_25: They should make jinkum.

Unknown_25: Hey, don't post flags of fucking Palestine in chat. I love the nation of Israel and do not recognize the territories of Palestine. I'll make that clear for you. Fucking trolls.

Unknown_25: See, we're totally gonna get busted because it's taken me like eight fucking hours to find this shit.

0:34:01
Unknown_25: Oh god. I guess I'm gonna go back to that fucking classroom and look at everything some more.

Unknown_25: Jews rock.

Unknown_13: What a fucking loser.

Unknown_25: I'm glad she hates him more. That was worth it.

Unknown_25: Surely there is a thing that I am missing that just says what the fuck we need.

0:34:35
Unknown_25: Because for real, like what's the point of making me do this game? What the fuck are you trying to accomplish?

Unknown_25: Because I cannot find it. What's that? Is that it?

Unknown_13: Here's the sodium chlorate box.

Unknown_13: Max, if you can't eat sodium chlorate in the science lab, give it up.

Unknown_26: Weed killer.

Unknown_13: You're an artist, dammit, not a scientist. But this is so not sodium chlorate. You know you're clumsy, Max. Don't waste your rewind power. Use the damn chair.

Unknown_25: See, this is... The thing is, part of the fucking game is that it constantly does this shit where it's like...

0:35:14
Unknown_25: We've had three different puzzles where you have to pick something up off the ground in a certain way. And it only is an issue in the game because the main character is the clumsiest fucking bitch on the planet. And she cannot pick up things with her hands without the assistance of some kind of tool. And the game's almost making fun of it at this point. If you just try to pick something up, you're a retard. Is what the game's saying. Take it easy on the door, Chloe.

Unknown_13: Wait, we're making a pipe bomb?

0:35:53
Unknown_25: This is like multiple felonies at this point.

Unknown_25: She had no idea how big that explosion would be.

Unknown_15: And fucking move it.

Unknown_25: I have rewind powers. Let's do it.

Unknown_25: There's no issue here.

Unknown_25: Let's see. Nothing. Nothing. So all that work and nothing's going to happen.

Unknown_25: There's nothing I can interact with in here. Ah, fuck off.

0:36:43
Unknown_24: Wait, what the fuck?

Unknown_24: What the fuck? Oh my gosh.

Unknown_24: I hacked the game.

Unknown_13: Welcome to my domain.

Unknown_14: You are magic. I have no clue how the hell you got in there, but you did it, sister.

Unknown_13: I'm the best. I'm the best.

0:37:16
Unknown_14: The door is patriotic. You need women on either side of that door to bust it open.

Unknown_25: Potentially.

Unknown_14: What's wrong with bronze birds? Yeah, and let's use our hands and not any kind of piece of paper to hide fingerprints in this town of five people. Let's leave fingerprints on as many physical objects as possible.

0:37:51
Unknown_25: Let's also leave boot prints on the fucking table.

Unknown_14: Chloe, you're a bitch. You're a fucker.

Unknown_14: Is that a bronze pigeon?

Unknown_25: No, it's an obvious fascist statue. It's a hawk, like the one Hitler used. Look, this fucking incel...

0:38:25
Unknown_25: Nigga, stop talking to Warren. He's no good for you. He's a dummy.

Unknown_25: You deserve Chloe.

Unknown_22: She just hates birds.

Unknown_13: It's my sad, unpleasant, regrettable... It's my duty to inform you that your petition to block the new surveillance system has come up

0:38:58
Unknown_25: Literally. He spelled literally wrong. The black principal, like I was looking at this trying to figure out what the fuck he wrote. He wrote literally wrong. A handful of votes for it. It's not my policy to take sides in these matters as we encourage the faculty and student body to participate in the school's operation.

Unknown_25: There's only like eight students in this fucking college or whatever.

Unknown_13: Look at this pile.

Unknown_25: I'm asking to search it not look at it fucking thought tumbleweeds How do you know you're not looking at them weird?

0:39:34
Unknown_13: This asshole has a spotless record Like I'm not gonna read my own personal file I like how her personal file just has like this shittiest in this paint fucking portrait of her Is a considered a quiet attentive student with much potential I

Unknown_13: This file is going to be so spotless, I'll projectile vomit.

Unknown_25: This is the gold standard. She's going to be... She's going to get raped. This is the gold standard for getting raped.

Unknown_13: I have to make sure Warren doesn't have a criminal background.

Unknown_25: Why? You're not going to fuck him. I'm not letting you fuck that guy.

Unknown_13: That fucking sped.

0:40:26
Unknown_25: It's not happening.

Unknown_13: Rachel doesn't seem so troubled based on all this. Man, I don't blame the principal for expelling Chloe.

Unknown_13: Bad, Chloe.

Unknown_25: Oh, she's been bad. I'm gonna have to punish her, Max.

Unknown_25: What are we looking for?

Unknown_13: I have no idea what we're doing with this. I've completely forgot.

Unknown_25: Oh, look, it's the whiskey bottle.

Unknown_13: I told you he was fucked up. I'd drink, too, if I was the principal of Blackwell.

Unknown_25: Told you that nigga was drunk.

Unknown_13: And nothing here.

0:40:59
Unknown_25: Well, she's stupid. She's leaving fucking fingerprints all over the goddamn place.

Unknown_13: This will so not come in handy.

Unknown_25: I'll turn this on. Nice.

Unknown_25: What's this?

Unknown_13: This pretty much sums up Kate. Shy and sweet.

Unknown_13: And in the wrong place.

Unknown_25: The wrong place being the concrete below the tower.

Unknown_25: Uh. I shouldn't have pointed up here. I shouldn't have pointed up here.

Unknown_24: I think we found everything in here.

0:41:33
Unknown_11: I should go join Chloe now.

Unknown_25: I'll turn this off just in case. I get the suspicion that lamp... That lamp has something out for me if I leave it open.

Unknown_14: Max, you better come check out these files. Nathan accuses Rachel of bringing drugs on campus, and my step-troll went along because he thinks Rachel was a bad influence on me.

Unknown_14: If David is teaming up with... Lamp will remember this. That's a bad sign. I told you the lamp will have consequences. Ooh, he's so money. And you know the Prescotts dropped major bank to bury Nathan's real file. Look, it reads like a rap sheet. Bad grades, teacher complaints, secret probation. But I was expelled? At least Nathan was finally suspended.

0:42:08
Unknown_13: Check out that note. Open it.

Unknown_22: Put that shit on a USB drive.

Unknown_13: It's not a drawing. Look.

Unknown_13: Rachel in the dark room. Rachel in the dark room. Over and over. That's it. That's fucked up.

Unknown_14: What does this even mean?

Unknown_14: Nathan is truly psychotic. Is that bitch like locked up in his house? Is he like raping her constantly?

0:42:41
Unknown_25: What the fuck? If this game takes a crazy psychotic Joseph Fritzl turn, I will love it.

Unknown_13: David M always helps me follow those he follows. It's pretty cryptic.

Unknown_14: No, it sounds like they formed some sort of weird team, the Super Hebrews. Jesus. David was stalking Kate, hassling me, and now we know he was all over Rachel too. Oh, we are so going into his garage files.

Unknown_14: Plus I'm getting a little paranoid in here. We got our info, let's bail.

0:43:14
Unknown_14: But maybe we shouldn't leave without a gift. This quirky dialogue is just too much.

Unknown_13: I hate this.

Unknown_25: Please drop this conversation.

Unknown_14: It's mine. Holy shit! Jackpot! Cha-ching! Wowzer. That's a lot for the handicapped fund. Dude, there's $5,000 here. I could pay Frank back tonight. This'll chill him out after you almost, you know, shot him.

0:43:47
Unknown_14: Are you gonna make a big issue out of this? Or just rewind and take the greenbacks for yourself? I hope you do that instead of lecturing me.

Unknown_25: This is a tough one because I don't want to pay back that guy. I want to shoot him.

Unknown_25: I can't decide. I can't decide. I'm going to switch. I have to call for help. I have to use a lifeline.

0:44:20
Unknown_25: Okay, wait. The winner of the vote is Kate. Wait, hold up. Let me refresh. Oh, it's still Kate after she died, so she's the most fuckable. Let me switch over to... No, I removed this poll.

Unknown_25: How do I remove the pole? Oh, there we go. Okay. Um, money take or do not take perfect. Perfect.

Unknown_25: All right, guys, help me through this. Help me through this emotional turmoil that I'm currently experiencing.

0:45:03
Unknown_25: Take the money? Oh, you guys are such fucking thieving kikes. Jesus Christ. Fine, I'll take the fucking money. But I'm still gonna try to take, I'm still gonna shoot that fucking guy.

Unknown_13: Frank knows things about Rachel, and he might talk if he's been paid. Right? You are super, Max.

Unknown_14: And with the leftover dough, I'll take you on a road trip to Portland for the day. We'll stock up on tats, beer, weed, and donuts, and books from Powell's, and strip clubs.

Unknown_14: Kidding. But you never know.

Unknown_25: You are gay. This is the gay agenda at work.

0:45:34
Unknown_13: I feel like shit for taking that money. Shut the fuck up. I don't care how you feel.

Unknown_14: That impish look scares me. Care for a midnight swim? The Blackwell pool is ours. Swimming? You want to take that risk now? It's been a cray week. We deserve a little mindless fun in the water. We're done for the night anyway. We're rich, and nobody busted us. So?

Unknown_25: Let's continue to have these conversations from the confines of the building.

0:46:09
Unknown_14: Stop using the word hella. Oh, fuck. Shut the fuck up.

Unknown_25: Jesus Christ.

Unknown_25: The fucking hellas are spreading.

Unknown_25: Yeah, I agree. They should totally fuck at this point. Them not fucking is a travesty.

Unknown_25: No, you don't understand. They're rich because she's gonna rewind time to tell Chloe to spend the $5,000 on Bitcoin. Like, years before it got big. She's smart.

0:46:44
Unknown_14: Max is a smart one. You can own this hellhole once you figure out your rewind power.

Unknown_26: That handicap will remember that.

Unknown_13: I don't remember what her evil plan is.

Unknown_25: Can I rewind that? Because I didn't hear what the fuck she said. No, I guess not.

Unknown_14: Boys or girls?

Unknown_13: Girls, of course.

0:47:16
Unknown_14: Take the hint. Take the hint, Chloe, you fucker.

Unknown_26: I'm trying to hook this shit up and you're fucking it up.

Unknown_25: What's this?

Unknown_13: What are you looking at a sock for, you fucking weirdo?

Unknown_25: Good. Let her take Warren. You can take Chloe.

Unknown_25: So hard being the fucking wingman for a retard.

0:47:51
Unknown_13: A bus ticket? Was she going to run away? Like Rachel Amber?

Unknown_25: Otters eat beavers. No, they don't.

Unknown_13: The wit. It burns.

Unknown_13: Shut the fuck up. No they're not!

Unknown_25: And she looks like a cat's butthole in this middle picture.

Unknown_25: I would totally rape Victoria, as everybody else would.

0:48:24
Unknown_25: Why am I looking at these? What the fuck am I doing? I'm getting brain damage playing this fucking game.

Unknown_13: This isn't a desperate cry for attention or anything.

Unknown_25: With a fucking Z and shit.

Unknown_25: Push her in! Push her in!

Unknown_14: Max, try to find the light for the pool. I wanna see the sharks.

Unknown_14: Otters don't like sharks. They bite.

Unknown_14: So do I. Hit that light!

Unknown_25: What the fuck is this conversation? I have no idea what's happening.

0:48:59
Unknown_25: That's the telephone, so... I'm literally just looking for a light switch.

Unknown_25: What the fuck is happening?

Unknown_25: It says no running, but I'm clearly running.

Unknown_25: It's like a blockade and I'm going to have to walk all the way down.

Unknown_25: Where's the fucking light switch at?

Unknown_25: Why is this so difficult? Why is everything in this fucking game so difficult?

0:49:39
Unknown_25: It has to be in here.

Unknown_13: Wait, what's this coffee? Is this fresh? Oh, you know, I thought the game would be clever and, like, this coffee would be hot to kind of indicate that there's somebody in this room.

Unknown_25: But no, it's just an excuse to have her say some more dumb shit.

Unknown_25: Ugh.

Unknown_25: Why is it even necessary for me to turn on the lights? Why not just have them on?

Unknown_25: Like, what's in that room that I'm supposed... Why is she in a bathing suit? What the fuck? What is happening? You just broke into this fucking building. And... Whatever.

0:50:11
Unknown_25: Go and jump. She has no butt whatsoever. That's okay.

Unknown_11: Can I get in?

Unknown_25: Jump in.

Unknown_25: Do I have to, like, change first?

Unknown_14: Where's the... Why are you doing this into a building you just broke into?

0:50:49
Unknown_25: Jump in. Jump in.

Unknown_25: Jump in. Thank you.

Unknown_25: I'm making progress, chat. I'm making progress. I'm making the lesbian relationship fucking happen.

Unknown_14: I can't wait to see these two fucking awkward mentally handicapped women flirt with each other while swimming.

Unknown_25: They're over 18. Don't even...

0:51:24
Unknown_25: This is good.

Unknown_26: This was worth the effort. Thank you, France.

Unknown_13: I'll just rewind and harpoon you. Otter's revenge. Cheater. Yeah, you wouldn't know about that. Two middle-aged Frenchmen wrote this dialogue of lesbians swimming.

Unknown_25: I wish Rachel was here.

Unknown_14: She would totally love being in here at night. Wish you guys had met each other. We will.

Unknown_13: With all this stuff going on, I'm starting to think everything is related. Get that dick out. It's already out. And I want to find out why for Kate's sake. She didn't deserve to die. Where are the tigbitties? There are no tigbitties in this fucking game.

0:51:54
Unknown_25: You saw how flat Chloe's ass is. She has negative ass. That shit's like concave.

Unknown_14: You're not so chicken shit anymore. Thanks, girlfriend. You know what I mean.

Unknown_25: Oh, look, she called her a girlfriend.

Unknown_13: I'm making... Oh, not your neck threaten the fucker.

0:52:28
Unknown_25: I disavow that comment.

Unknown_25: Though hopefully my boss Monday Matt on Earth Kiwi Farms is watching. Oh shit.

Unknown_25: I'm just going with that one.

Unknown_13: There we go.

Unknown_25: That's the appropriate option.

Unknown_14: Yeah, it's happening.

Unknown_13: Absolutely. You make me feel like I know what I'm doing. It's getting hot in here.

0:53:01
Unknown_14: Make her do sex. I'm working on it. Stop being so goddamn humble. You're like the smartest, most talented person I've ever known. More than Rachel Amber. Dude, I'm not her groupie, okay?

Unknown_25: Put the key in her ignition.

Unknown_14: This is gonna end in some fucking hella finger blasting.

Unknown_25: Oh, jeez.

Unknown_25: I don't know. That sounds like... Kiss.

0:53:35
Unknown_13: Kiss.

Unknown_13: Kiss.

Unknown_14: Make it happen. Make it happen.

Unknown_25: Make it... It's so close.

Unknown_24: Kiss.

Unknown_14: Attack each other with tongues and mouth.

Unknown_13: Yes. The sexual tension is too much.

0:54:18
Unknown_25: Look, they have no ass at all!

Unknown_25: Neither of them!

Unknown_14: Gross. I feel like we just went swimming in chlorine bay. You look cute with your hair soaked in chemicals.

Unknown_14: Thanks.

Unknown_08: You would know.

Unknown_25: Oh, you're busted. That's what you get for having a... That's what you get for fucking wasting time like that. You fucking morons. You fucking retard motherfuckers.

Unknown_25: I guess nobody saw this one coming. Oh god, where am I going?

0:54:50
Unknown_09: Move, Max. Don't waste your power on getting busted.

Unknown_25: There we go. Well, let's go. Are you shitting me?

Unknown_23: Leave.

Unknown_25: Leave, dummies.

Unknown_25: Oh, you're so fucked. You're so fucked, Lee. This is what you get for wasting half an hour making shitty... You didn't even fuck.

Unknown_09: I could use my power. Or just look for a hiding spot. Or both.

Unknown_25: Where are they?

0:55:22
Unknown_09: Just walk here.

Unknown_25: Hello? Oh, jeez. Run. Run this way. Move! Expedite the process of moving the fuck.

Unknown_25: Oh, now it's tense. Now I have like an Arkham-style fucking... hiding thing going on. I'm gonna try to hide behind the lockers and then move.

Unknown_25: Based on the light.

Unknown_17: Better not try any Halloween pranks after today. I'm serious.

0:55:53
Unknown_17: I heard something over here.

Unknown_17: Who's here?

Unknown_17: I got a flashlight and a stick.

Unknown_26: I'm a master.

0:56:29
Unknown_26: We are so invisible. Kiss! Get the fuck out! Either kiss or fucking move. What are you waiting for? Oh, jeez.

Unknown_25: That was too tense. My chest is tight.

Unknown_25: And it's definitely not because of the sexual tension that has no payoff whatsoever.

Unknown_11: Wait. Turn around. They're coming.

Unknown_15: We have to find another way out.

Unknown_15: Shut the fuck up.

Unknown_15: What?

0:57:02
Unknown_25: Just hide out in her closet. You're already used to hiding in closets, Max, you fucking dyke.

Unknown_01: And then I can hear the cars starting- oh, whatever.

Unknown_25: Yeah, say the name Max while you're driving away. I hate, I hate these people so much. I hate these people on a deep emotional level.

Unknown_25: I'm still gonna get them the fuck though. Max the Muff Diver.

0:57:38
Unknown_25: Hey, don't talk about my boy Max like that.

Unknown_25: Wouldn't he recognize his daughter's truck? You would fucking think so.

Unknown_25: And no, the cameras are coming later. I don't think they're ready yet.

Unknown_25: No, in this game, she can literally drive away. Are they, like, sleeping? OK.

0:58:31
Unknown_26: Yeah, they didn't even get naked. You guys are terrible at this.

Unknown_26: Show feet! Wait, take selfie.

Unknown_13: Oh god!

Unknown_26: Did they fuck?

Unknown_26: Hell yeah.

0:59:05
Unknown_13: It feels like a different world from yesterday. You left a skid mark on Blackwell last night.

Unknown_13: Like it needs another one. I thought she was going to say you left a skid mark on your pants.

Unknown_13: I can't even submit my photo to represent.

Unknown_14: I just don't want to be rejected. Every great artist gets rejected before they get accepted.

Unknown_14: You have to end your photo. Even though I'm pimping the school you found you wanted to torch... Ugh, I can't believe this is the chapter.

0:59:51
Unknown_13: wish we could just hang out all morning maybe we should get up i have to get back to blackwell soon oh does the school girl have a test wait there's their feet for the people asking i mean i don't know what more you could want you're getting your fucking payoff i just need to get on my regular school schedule again i have no idea this is rating rated overwhelmingly positive on steam this is rated with the highest possible fucking accolades and i have no

Unknown_25: Rick, I don't know. I'm playing it in front of an audience, so you kind of have to take things a little bit less seriously. I don't know. Maybe if I was playing it by myself, I would think the game is better because you take time to look at shit, but I can't. It's a character-driven game, and the characters are fucking awful. They're insipid and psychotic, and nothing they do makes any fucking sense. You're constantly questioning why people are doing things. You're questioning why people will just slow the fuck down and talk about shit. Or why they bathed in a swimming pool in a building they broke into. It's just constant. Like, what the fuck is happening?

1:00:52
Unknown_25: I just don't get it. And no, it wasn't rated overwhelmingly positive by games journalists. It was rated overwhelmingly positive by people. Shit. Like, actual players. I don't fucking know. Maybe this teenage lesbian romance simulator was good enough for people, but I don't get it.

Unknown_25: Josh hates women? Pretty much.

1:01:26
Unknown_25: If this is what women is, I hate them.

Unknown_25: You're only here for the rape? Oh, me too. Trust me. Me too.

Unknown_25: Max Sucker chose... I don't think I can skip this. They're not fucking, they're not kissing, they're not like sucking on each other's feet. I would settle for that. I would settle for toe sucking at this point. Just fucking do something. Oh, now I can get up.

Unknown_25: Okay, I guess I could skip through it.

1:02:00
Unknown_13: Okay, I need to get dressed now.

Unknown_25: And you know what? I'm just gonna say it. They fucked. Because I can't zoom out and show you this, but her pants are different than the pants she was wearing when she was swimming. So she is definitely wearing... Oh, fuck! Chloe's... Chloe's wearing her pants.

Unknown_26: Chloe... They traded pants.

Unknown_13: They totally fucked. I'm just saying. Man, if I had stayed hidden, David wouldn't be targeting me.

1:02:33
Unknown_25: Well, I wanted to open that because I wanted to get clothes. Oh, they totally fucked. Look at this.

Unknown_25: Look at this. And look, there's like titties on this wall. They totally fucked. If I'd be naked to see it, that'd be interesting.

Unknown_13: I don't think I'll be blushing today.

Unknown_25: See, the mission right now, my objective in this game is to find clothes to wear. Oh, there we go.

Unknown_34: Ew, still reeks like a chlorine factory.

1:03:05
Unknown_20: Well, that's what I was trying.

Unknown_25: The game made me find my old crows.

Unknown_14: Oh, this is getting super fucking gay. This is super mega fucking gay. Chloe's glow dick. You can always rewind back to your chlorine brand t-shirt and generic jeans.

Unknown_25: Scrape the gunk from under her toenails with your teeth? No, I would rather not.

Unknown_14: But it would be cool to try on Rachel's clothes just to see if they fit. Stop second-guessing yourself, Max. Put this on and let your inner punk rock girl come out. You can afford to take chances whenever and whenever you want to try.

1:03:41
Unknown_25: Let me make a poll. I'm curious.

Unknown_25: I'm not going to read it as I write it.

Unknown_25: I'm up to something good.

Unknown_25: I'm up to something good. Okay. I desire your inner secrets, Chet.

1:04:21
Unknown_25: Oh jeez, the poll's contentious. Oh no!

Unknown_25: WeeWee was in the lead, but it's already been doubled, but no, that's gay. Wait, it's making a comeback. Oh jeez. This is too tense. I'll come back and look at it in a couple minutes. My heart, after that exciting last mission, I still can't take that, uh, watching those numbers.

Unknown_09: Do it! Do it! Do it!

Unknown_26: Oh, fuck yeah!

1:04:58
Unknown_14: That was a kiss? That was it? You fucker!

Unknown_26: You, you fucker! I was robbed!

Unknown_26: I was robbed!

Unknown_13: You didn't even kiss her, you like assaulted her lips with a peck.

Unknown_26: Is that a kiss?

Unknown_25: Oh, fuck this.

Unknown_25: Fuck this game. And no, that's gay. Wins with 26 over 21. I think I'm gonna have a fucking stroke.

1:05:34
Unknown_25: Put on your dyke clothes, lady. Let's get going. Because you're a fucking loser and you can't even kiss right.

Unknown_25: Uninstall. What have we learned? Nothing.

Unknown_14: Chat's very upset by this fucking game. Oh, yeah. This is the gay agenda at work.

Unknown_14: X-Men warned us. It's not gay because of lesbians, it's gay because of the French. I can believe it at this point.

1:06:07
Unknown_25: Oh, God.

Unknown_25: Look at what's happened to you, Max.

Unknown_25: Used to be a good Christian girl, now you're a gay. What's this?

Unknown_13: Nigga, you fucking gay. Oh, jeez. I'm still gonna keep going. I'm gonna keep hitting on her as much as possible. To see if we... I've been told there is no finger blasting by the end of this game, but I'm still gonna work for it.

1:06:43
Unknown_25: Hell yeah.

Unknown_13: Hell yeah.

Unknown_14: You just had it! Yeah, fuck men.

Unknown_14: Oh. Oh jeez.

Unknown_25: I'm doing a good job. I'm much better at romance as a teenage French girl than I am as a guy. I'm learning from the best from the French.

1:07:23
Unknown_13: Oh jeez. Is Max autistic?

Unknown_25: Probably.

Unknown_25: He looks and acts autistic.

Unknown_25: What the fuck am I doing?

Unknown_13: What's this? Can I smoke this joint? See, I've made the character gay.

1:08:00
Unknown_25: Um, can I? Oh, geez.

Unknown_25: Can I back out of this?

Unknown_26: I've made a critical mistake.

Unknown_26: Oh, no.

Unknown_25: Oh, fuck. All right, let's go with this. Sounds the least painful.

Unknown_25: No, no pull. I'm just... Oh, fuck. I have to get out of this fucking room as quickly as possible now. No, I'm stuck. Okay, there we go. We gotta go. We gotta fucking leave. Scorched earth policy.

1:08:32
Unknown_08: Oh my god. That smells so amazing.

Unknown_13: It's like when we were...

Unknown_25: Can I leave?

Unknown_25: Can I get the fuck out?

1:09:08
Unknown_03: Can I say hi?

Unknown_03: Hi! Oh shit, we do need a pull for this.

Unknown_25: This is important. Whenever we have a food option, we have to do a poll. That's the rule. What's for breakfast? Is the question. Bacon. Oh, wait. Pancakes.

Unknown_25: Or bacon and eggs.

Unknown_25: This is something that I can't decide by myself because I'm a woman and I can't figure out what the fuck I want to eat. Oh, shit. Bacon and eggs is like the fucking stomping it.

1:09:42
Unknown_25: Alright, that's a clear fucking decisive victory for bacon and eggs. I'm not detecting a Belgian waffle resurgent like last time.

Unknown_25: Yeah, yep, okay, just making sure I got it right. I had, I had sudden second chances, second guesses about my option.

Unknown_03: Remember when you guys would sleep in until I yelled out, wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey. Bacon niggers, Zyre, why are you such a oppositional person when it comes to the food votes?

1:10:20
Unknown_25: You're always so bitter that your food of choice did not win.

Unknown_13: I can handle eggs and bacon.

Unknown_25: You can't handle a real woman, though, you fucker. You tit-less, ass-less fucking freak. They can't kiss right? Because you're a virgin. And you have autism. David, this is Officer Korn. Just wanted to let you know your stepdaughter's car was identified. Hey! Whoever said they would recognize the car, the car, are right.

1:10:54
Unknown_03: What? Give me a call soon. Are you in trouble again, Chloe? Don't you sleep?

Unknown_25: Yeah, she does. Sleeps with Max.

Unknown_25: They trade panties and shit. This bird. What bird?

Unknown_25: What bird?

Unknown_25: I want to see the bird. Where's the bird? Oh, there he is. It's the bird that we didn't let die last time. Can I take a picture of it now?

1:11:27
Unknown_13: Oh, look at the poor bird. He seems kind of freaked out.

Unknown_25: Let me open the window or something before I scare it.

Unknown_25: Oh, you fucking retard. Just leave it open so the bird will fly out. What's wrong with you? Fucking autistic mongoloid sexless freak.

Unknown_13: I keep expecting to see the sky turn red.

Unknown_25: Well, that sounds like a personal issue. Let's scare the bird now. Because hopefully he won't crash into the window like last time.

1:11:59
Unknown_08: They're not doing a very good job of leaving, bird.

Unknown_25: There we go. Hey look, the bird's outside. I'm very entrenched. This bird plotline is so far the most interesting thing in this game.

Unknown_25: Yes, that's a bird. Thank you, pointing thing. Oh yeah, I can take a picture of it now.

Unknown_25: I wanted to take a picture of it last chapter. Now I can.

1:12:38
Unknown_25: Holy shit, I just realized that... Why is this bird dead? What the fuck?

Unknown_25: Oh, the tornado got him. I just realized that you're taking pictures throughout the games. What the fuck?

Unknown_13: There's like eight of them!

Unknown_25: If this game ends with birds pulling out Victoria's eyeballs, that'd be fucking great. But as I was saying before, I got distracted by the dead birds. Like, you're taking pictures of all this shit, right? And that photo contest is coming up. Like, the game definitely ends with you selecting a photo to give to the teacher. And that's going to somehow determine your ending. Depending on what picture you give them. I've totally figured this out. I'm a fucking genius. Unlike Max, who's a fucking retard.

1:13:15
Unknown_25: Yeah, just as for birds, the fucking zoo sadist got it. That's what I think.

Unknown_25: Telling me I'm wrong. Fuck you, I'm never wrong. I'm the most right.

Unknown_25: If that's not how it ends, they're fucking retarded because that's like the obvious fucking through line of this story so far. It's just the photographs.

1:13:51
Unknown_25: What the fuck am I doing? Is breakfast done yet, lady? Can we get a move on?

Unknown_03: You can't turn around and find the fucking eggs in the bag.

Unknown_25: It's right here.

Unknown_13: I can't believe they're making me do this.

Unknown_25: I cannot believe the French are making me get bacon and eggs for a woman.

Unknown_34: Oh, there's an obvious bacon joke, too.

Unknown_25: Oh, fuck you.

1:14:24
Unknown_03: Oh, chat's frozen.

Unknown_25: I apologize. I've complained to them about this. They refuse to fix it.

Unknown_25: And it's really fucking annoying. They say it's OBS's fault. It's not OBS's fault. It's obviously a thing with the chat.

Unknown_25: Okay, sorry. And somebody mentioned... Actually, let me do this right now. I'm sorry for interrupting the fucking thing to look for. Restream.io. But somebody said that the Discord wasn't working, and it should be working.

Unknown_25: I actually I do want to fix that right now because I want people in the discord to be able to talk and I'll post the discord link in the in the stream chat while I'm doing this Link never expires generate copy.

1:15:13
Unknown_29: I'll go ahead and post this Yeah, absolute fucking refusal I want I want my thing to work god damn it motherfuckers I

Unknown_25: I don't know how to use this dashboard. I wish you guys could see me. I can't stream this because it contains my social security number on all the pages, obviously. But I wish you could see me completely failing to navigate a dashboard. Because all I want is my chat.

Unknown_29: Just show me my fucking chat.

Unknown_29: There we go.

Unknown_29: Okay, copy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:15:56
Unknown_25: And then paste. Okay, so far so good. Connected one of one.

Unknown_26: I hate technology. I hate programming. I hate everything. I'm just going to quit everything and buy a gun and move to the Siberian woods and build my log cabin and shoot anybody who comes near my house.

Unknown_25: And I'm going to disconnect the fucking internet. I'm never going to do this shit again. When I reconnect with my phone every so often, I'm just going to stream Stalker. Once a year. To three people, like Cosmo. And that'll be my life. Because I fucking hate technology.

1:16:33
Unknown_25: But will they have toilet paper in Siberia? God damn it, I didn't switch over the fucking thing to the all-purpose one where it actually shows the game. Fuck this. Fuck video games.

Unknown_26: Yeah, I want breakfast too.

Unknown_13: Is there any reason that Rachel might be mad at Chloe and left without her?

1:17:06
Unknown_03: Chloe could piss everybody off but her.

Unknown_02: They were almost joined at the head.

Unknown_13: They probably were when they were making out.

Unknown_02: Rachel wasn't as grounded as you.

Unknown_13: I'm grounded? Since when?

Unknown_13: Maybe that's why Chloe likes Rachel so much.

Unknown_13: Fuck video games. Watch out, we got a polygender now.

Unknown_25: Pretty much.

Unknown_25: I don't know what the question was. Can I rewind time? No? I'm gonna say maybe.

Unknown_13: Maybe.

Unknown_13: Rachel was so much cooler than me.

1:17:40
Unknown_03: You think? Then why has Chloe been telling me she wishes she could be more like you over the past five years?

Unknown_13: Doubt it. Why does she have a southern accent? Did she really? Five years ago feels like a thousand now.

Unknown_03: And that makes me what? A century old? If we could turn back time. Oh jeez.

Unknown_03: I hate this game so much.

1:18:18
Unknown_25: Max has the mental age of a 12 year old. She does. She's like a retard.

Unknown_25: Can I sit? I want to sit at the table. Oh, I have to sit at this chair. Specifically this chair. I can't sit at the others.

Unknown_25: That would be too much player choice.

Unknown_25: Oh, hell yeah. The game's getting interesting again.

Unknown_13: Thank you so much, Joyce. I'm never leaving this table. Good. You can clean.

1:18:52
Unknown_25: That was actually funny. There's no way the French thought of that. That had to be like the voice actor. Like, can we make this line, this next thing, like something I'd actually say to my kids?

Unknown_25: Is there a win condition? There's no fucking win condition.

1:19:24
Unknown_25: The game ends when the French say that you can... Finish your fucking bacon! What the fuck is wrong with you? How do I make or finish this bacon?

Unknown_03: Wasteful cunt seeing you again ah Made me remember so much.

Unknown_03: I know these photos. Don't measure up. She's pro Anna My favorite pictures similar to yours you make David happy choice. He wants us all to be happy max He's just not great at showing it Eat your fucking food rock this outfit like Rachel You have your own cool style

1:20:12
Unknown_13: Wowzer. This is fucking gay. Okay, we have to interrupt this.

Unknown_25: I got some other shit.

Unknown_25: I got something I can show you that this reminds me of. And hopefully you guys will laugh at it. If not, I'm gonna look like a retard, but that's okay. I look like a retard just for playing this game.

Unknown_25: Hold up, where is this fucking video? Oh, there we go, there we go. Perfect.

Unknown_25: Oh, is the... Oh man, if the actual video's gone, I will be sad. No, wait, no, there it is. Perfect. Let's hide this shitty game.

1:20:45
Unknown_25: Okay.

Unknown_25: This is what this reminds me of right now.

Unknown_16: Oh.

Unknown_16: Yeah.

Unknown_16: You got your digital camera.

Unknown_23: Yeah. There's a little something there. What are you going to take pictures of? Uh, just you.

Unknown_01: Oh, unless I love you. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. So, are we having fun tonight? Are we having fun right now? We're eating. Okay. You know you're very pretty. You're always pretty. Thank you. You know we're going to get on the street and we're going to have some fun. What? Graphics just kicked up a notch.

1:21:28
Unknown_23: I am free as a bird. And this bird you cannot change.

Unknown_01: Enjoy your food. Yes.

Unknown_25: Sorry, I have brain damage and I can only think in terms of Chris Chan references. I hope you guys sympathize with my physical medical condition at this moment in time.

1:21:59
Unknown_25: Alright, back to the hipster nonsense.

Unknown_03: William took this picture with his instant camera.

Unknown_25: You know, you're always pretty.

Unknown_25: Eat your food. It's the last picture he ever took.

Unknown_02: He had his car out right after this.

Unknown_02: I know, Joyce.

Unknown_02: I'm sorry.

Unknown_02: I didn't show you this to be morbid. In fact, I want you to have this. This was when my baby was so full of life. Yeah, it wasn't even a kissing. It was just like the way you kiss your grandma was the least sexy kiss ever.

1:22:36
Unknown_25: She didn't even linger on the lip for a second. It was like an assault. It was like a physical assault.

Unknown_20: Did you guys have a bonding session about how fucked up I am?

Unknown_25: Yes. It's not always about you. Chloe, please, it's too early to stop taking a five.

Unknown_03: Hey, stop being a bitch!

Unknown_25: You're gonna cockblock yourself, you fucking retard.

Unknown_14: I'll keep the warden busy while you go peek in the garage.

Unknown_03: Now stop whispering or I'll know you're talking about me.

1:23:08
Unknown_14: Stop being so nosy, mother.

Unknown_03: You're right in front of her. Geez, I can't do anything around here without everybody getting up in my shit. Why are you such a bitch? No one can even joke with you, Chloe. You fly off the handle like that. You just got laid. Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom.

Unknown_14: Sure, run off and pee when you should back me up.

Unknown_03: Now who's being paranoid? Just listen to yourself.

Unknown_14: Nobody else does.

Unknown_13: I do need to get into David's computer. What the fuck? Why are we doing this shit? He's gotta be hiding shit.

Unknown_25: Alright, whatever.

Unknown_13: Whatever, I'm not asking any more questions. I'm done with this shit. No shit, it needs a password.

1:23:41
Unknown_13: How about Stepdouche? Try again. I need more clues.

Unknown_25: If your password's just a word, you should fucking kill yourself. It's probably in the book.

Unknown_13: Looks like David has read this a lot.

Unknown_25: Is it Hail Hitler?

Unknown_13: What did he learn?

Unknown_25: Try Hail Hitler.

Unknown_13: Maybe I could try stepdad for the password.

1:24:12
Unknown_25: Is that a suggestion to try stepdad?

Unknown_34: Shitballs.

Unknown_25: Shitballs. Fuck you. Try shitballs for the password. Try hella.

Unknown_25: Oh, jeez. This is going to be fun. I can already tell.

Unknown_13: Nothing to see here.

Unknown_25: Ugh.

Unknown_25: I'm gonna start masturbating on stream like DSP to stay fucking engaged.

Unknown_13: Is that a heavy-duty military lockpad chat?

1:24:47
Unknown_25: I'm not an expert. I don't fucking know. I'm gonna guess that's not a heavy-duty military... If your password's a four-digit number, you're a fucking retard.

Unknown_25: A gun rack.

Unknown_13: There's no way Chloe can put that gun back now.

1:25:20
Unknown_25: Well, don't leave the fucking light on. You'll know you've been digging through his shit.

Unknown_13: Maybe this ID number might work.

Unknown_25: If your password is any string of 0 through 9 numbers, you're a fucking retard.

Unknown_25: He looks like a guy from Half-Life 2. He looks like one of the resistance people.

Unknown_13: I could try the license number for the password.

1:25:53
Unknown_25: God, don't try any number. If your password is any number, if it's a fucking string of numbers, I'm gonna be pissed off.

Unknown_13: David has been dragging his head around since 2001? What a trophy, bitch.

Unknown_13: Obviously David's parents care about him.

Unknown_13: That date might be a good password.

Unknown_25: If it's any string of numbers, I'm gonna be fucking livid.

Unknown_13: Cute. Can't picture David driving Joyce around with this on the car.

1:26:27
Unknown_25: A knife.

Unknown_13: Even David Madsen might be an angel to somebody else.

Unknown_13: Now the car looks ready to roll. This is a better hobby for David than surveillance. My favorite part about this stage in the game right now is I have to hear her talk about every single fucking thing I look up. Joyce might as well have wrote, let's get married.

Unknown_13: That might be a useful password.

Unknown_25: Eggs and sausage?

Unknown_25: Anything else?

1:27:01
Unknown_25: Oh god, I might have to go outside. That's cute.

Unknown_25: Could be a password here.

Unknown_13: That's it.

Unknown_25: That has to be it. 607 Survey Company. That's the password. Calling it now. I'm putting it on. I'm putting it on my Bitcoin on 607 Survey Company. God damn it.

Unknown_13: No way, Max. You totally froze the laptop.

Unknown_25: Broke. This game has ruined me.

1:27:34
Unknown_25: No, because it has to be, I'm going to guess it's something about the daughter. It has to be something with the daughter.

Unknown_25: I don't know what these numbers are.

Unknown_13: Oh, that was it. Max the Hacker strikes again. What was that number for? Whoa, spoiler alert.

Unknown_25: Rachel definitely hooked up with Frank. What was that password from? The 11-20-2007?

Unknown_13: Why does David care?

1:28:09
Unknown_25: Okay, Rachel's been cutting class all week. Okay, this is like his crazy stalker.

Unknown_13: Instead of stalking Kate, David could have helped her. This is so wrong.

Unknown_13: Creepy bastard.

Unknown_25: Get fucked next.

Unknown_13: I better tell Chloe about this now.

Unknown_13: It's just one more thing to make her sad and mad.

Unknown_25: Oh, did you eat the rest of my- No! What the fuck? She didn't touch it. She's been waiting here for 15 fucking minutes with half a strip of bacon and an egg left on the plate. Nobody fucking ate it. This is wasteful. This is a low-income house and none of you are gonna finish that fucking plate? There are children starving in Africa, you fuckers.

1:28:48
Unknown_19: Nice breakfast.

Unknown_35: David, you're back already?

Unknown_19: I have to take a nap after writing up vandalism reports last night.

Unknown_19: What happened? Some little shit-ass punks broke into the swimming pool. This is what happens at these PC bullshit colleges. Entitled students taken over the campus.

1:29:22
Unknown_03: Do you know for sure it was black whale students?

Unknown_19: For sure? Who else would do it? I'm gonna bust them.

Unknown_19: Figures you'd be here. Is that your Rachel amber Halloween costume? No, you and Chloe think you know more than anybody like all teenagers Leave max alone David stop threatening students He threatens them with surveillance cameras so he can spy on everybody like he spies on all of us here Don't start Chloe. Not now. I

1:29:58
Unknown_14: Hit her. Hit her.

Unknown_19: Invoke physical violence.

Unknown_25: Safety through strength.

Unknown_25: Why would I side with David?

Unknown_25: Oh, geez.

Unknown_25: I would side with David just because he's the cool guy, but I might get to finger blast Chloe if I side with her.

1:30:30
Unknown_09: You're a bully, David. I saw you harass Kate Marsh when she was going through hell. You could have totally helped her.

Unknown_15: Everybody at Blackwell is a suspect to you, except for Nathan Prescott. That's why the students and faculty don't like you. You even threatened me. I do respect your service, but you respect anybody. You were smoking pot in Chloe's room.

Unknown_09: That's illegal. So is spying on people in your family and at your work. Why do you have photos of Kate Marsh and Rachel? Don't say you broke into his computer.

1:31:02
Unknown_25: That's a crime, too.

Unknown_03: Is this true, Max?

Unknown_03: Yes, David. Why do you have these files at all? I find this very disturbing.

Unknown_19: I do not have to take this kind of interrogation. Not from you punks.

Unknown_03: Maybe you should calm down. Get doxxed.

Unknown_19: You're turning on me now. There is literally nothing wrong with doxxing. Women always stick together. Oh, jeez. Well, screw you.

Unknown_03: David... You better go to a hotel until we figure this out.

Unknown_19: You can't kick me out of my own home.

1:31:34
Unknown_03: It's my home. David paid for and in my name. You know the law, right?

Unknown_19: Oh, I thought I knew a lot of things. Oh, Jesus. I'm regretting this decision. I do want to fuck Chloe.

Unknown_03: Chloe, for once, just please shut up.

Unknown_13: I hope Joyce doesn't hate me for tearing into David.

Unknown_25: I'm... I'm... I'm ruining my... I can't rewind that, though, because I totally want to fuck Chloe. I'm sorry.

1:32:07
Unknown_25: I have to make sacrifices. He has guns. He'll be okay. Okay, let's go.

Unknown_14: Max, that gave me chills. And you better not rewind this one.

Unknown_25: Fuck you, lady. Don't tell me what to do.

Unknown_25: Oh, I'm so... Don't tell me what to do. I'm angry now. I'm angry.

1:32:38
Unknown_26: Don't tell me what to do, you bitch! You fucking cunt! I'll show you!

Unknown_19: Nice breakfast.

Unknown_35: David, you back already?

Unknown_19: I have to take a nap after writing up vandalism reports last night.

Unknown_35: What happened?

Unknown_03: Leave Max alone. Start.

1:33:12
Unknown_13: Listen! We don't know that David did anything, and nobody has any proof against him. As far as we know, it's Nathan Prescott who's the real threat so far. This is a much better option.

Unknown_14: I would cut David's slack here. Oh, would you? How generous, King Max. So suddenly it doesn't matter how shady David has been acting. Now that's fucking big. Or how you're always going off on how creepy David is.

Unknown_03: I don't want anybody being accused of anything. There's been too much of that crap going on around here lately, and I don't want it in my home today.

1:33:51
Unknown_19: Well, I agree with that. Now, if you all don't mind, I'd like to forget about work and sit down and eat some of this incredible grub.

Unknown_14: I have to take a dump. Is he going to eat that bacon?

Unknown_25: Oh, dude, this was the best option. He eats the bacon, too. Oh, geez.

Unknown_25: This was much better. Maybe I went too easy on David for Joyce's sake. Nigga, shut the fuck up.

Unknown_25: Don't doubt me, lady.

Unknown_14: Thanks for letting me down again, Max. Why can't you just rewind so I don't have to see you defending that asshole?

Unknown_25: Because fuck you, motherfucker. Last time I did something that you wanted me to, a lady fucking threw herself off a building. So you get to eat shit.

1:34:24
Unknown_25: I'm gonna go finger blast somebody else, motherfucker.

Unknown_25: Thanks for the shirt, asshole.

Unknown_13: Listen, when I went through David's laptop, I found pictures of Rachel and Frank being more than friends.

Unknown_25: Rachel and Frank being more than friends. Sorry, I'm fixing chat again because chat is conspiring against me.

Unknown_25: Like this game in general.

1:35:01
Unknown_14: right right no way she was just posing to tease frank if you're not gonna believe me why don't we check out what frank has in his rv what's that gonna prove frank has rachel's bracelet what else does he have oh that's the guy that's motherfucker better not have anything she has a drug debt with that we sold the money for let's check the door frank gets so wasted he sometimes forgets to lock it

Unknown_25: Are we breaking into another place? I can't believe you hung out with him.

Unknown_13: Not anymore.

Unknown_13: We have to be casual ninjas here.

Unknown_24: Oh, shut the fuck up.

Unknown_14: Shitballs. Okay, here's the plan. I'll go to the diner and distract Frank by telling him I have his money, but he needs to come with me. Then you come in and rewind so Frank doesn't see me. Then you can tell Frank he needs to check out his RV and then you rewind after you get the key and, uh, and... Chloe, I got this.

1:36:00
Unknown_13: I'll be right back.

Unknown_14: I can't believe I kissed you awkwardly.

Unknown_14: Fucking retard. I'm embarrassed.

Unknown_25: I have so many regrets. I made Max's first kiss with somebody dumber than that fuckhead incel Warren.

Unknown_13: Good Lord. Bacon.

Unknown_25: I'm ready to nosh again.

Unknown_09: Shut the fuck up with the bacon jokes before I... But I need to get those keys from... Try the floor.

1:36:34
Unknown_16: I was eating those bees. Are you fucking insane?

Unknown_01: I was eating those bees. Oh jeez.

Unknown_01: That was great.

1:37:18
Unknown_17: You show up after almost shooting me? You have serious balls, little girl. But hanging out with Chloe, playing with guns, and dressing like Rachel doesn't make you cool or tough. The fuck do you want?

Unknown_13: How do you know these are Rachel's clothes?

Unknown_17: Because she looks beautiful in them and you look like ass. Aiming a gun doesn't make you any sexier.

Unknown_13: Grab your keys and let's check out your RV.

Unknown_17: Let's not. You fucking creep me out.

Unknown_13: In other words, Max, no keys. Maybe I could chat up that officer, or even Nathan, and then go all Groundhog Day on them until I get the info I need.

1:37:51
Unknown_19: I have no idea what I'm looking for. How you doing, Maxine?

Unknown_19: I'm so sorry you had to be up there with Kate when she, you know... This guy voiced every fallout. Yeah, he does. He's one of the New Vegas guys.

Unknown_13: Thanks, Officer Barry. I know you guys deal with this stuff way more than me, but it is hard to deal with.

Unknown_19: I'm glad you're representing Blackwell Academy.

Unknown_25: Uh, oh jeez, I have so many options now.

Unknown_25: Oh, look at that guy's face. He has so much forehead. He looks like a, like a, like a brainiac evil guy. I thought Nathan Prescott represents Blackwell.

1:38:29
Unknown_19: Don't make me backwash this bacon. You know what the Prescotts represent.

Unknown_13: Taking over Arcadia Bay?

Unknown_19: You're not far wrong, Max. I heard the Prescotts are working on some new big land deals. Mr. Prescott helped out my family once a while ago, so I made a deal with him. Like Ralph's first girlfriend. Bully Ralph. Man, if I could get one instant replay in life.

1:39:03
Unknown_25: I better finish my breakfast first. Now that you mention it, um...

Unknown_25: Oh, you know what? I think the game wants me to rewind and just ask him a different question and then do that over and over again.

Unknown_19: How you doing, Maxine?

Unknown_13: Thanks, officer.

Unknown_19: I'm glad you-

Unknown_13: Well, I heard a rumor you were working for the Prescott family on the side.

Unknown_19: Jesus, doesn't this town ever shut up?

1:39:35
Unknown_13: I don't blame you for getting extra work.

Unknown_19: Look, sometimes I check up on the Prescott family to make sure they're doing all right. I want to make sure that this Prescott guy dies before... Keep just quiet, Max.

Unknown_13: Try interrogating somebody else, Lieutenant Caulfield.

Unknown_25: I'm going to get a fucking aneurysm doing this shit.

Unknown_19: How you doing, Maxine?

Unknown_19: Did I already get the information I'm looking for?

Unknown_25: I already got that one.

Unknown_13: I guess Kate Marsh will be the face of Blackwell for a while.

1:40:09
Unknown_25: Such a waste. Awful.

Unknown_25: Okay, I already did everything.

Unknown_25: Oh yeah, Nathan.

Unknown_25: Oh, can I spill his beans?

Unknown_34: Rule number two, no snitching.

1:40:54
Unknown_31: I heard your dad hired a local cop to keep an eye out on you and Frank Bowers.

Unknown_13: Like a babysitter. Bullshit. My dad doesn't hire.

Unknown_34: He owns. And these pigs know better than to knock on me. Do they? I hope that means Frank won't get busted. Eventually he will. Guy's into some freaky shit. He told me once he took a weird blood oath for Rachel.

Unknown_34: Forget I told you that. Seriously. Now get off my crack, whore.

Unknown_25: They definitely raped and murdered that lady. She's so dead. She's like super mega fucking dead.

1:41:36
Unknown_21: Rape? Blood Oath.

Unknown_13: Weren't you supposed to keep your mouth shut about the blood oath Frank took for Rachel?

Unknown_34: Blood Oath? Who? What the? I never told anybody about that freaky shit. Besides, everybody knows Frank is a liar and a loser. He's like screaming inside this building. Yet Rachel Amber hung out with him more than you. So Rachel wanted Frank's stash. She let him take pictures, then he carries around her photo like she posed for love. Dumbass.

Unknown_25: Oh, I advertise the stream on YouTube, but the thing is, I just don't want to, uh... I don't want to, like, stream video games to YouTube, because people might get bothered by that and shit. I can do whatever I want on stream there.

1:42:18
Unknown_25: Rachel! Is there anything else I can get from this guy?

Unknown_25: Uh, do this one.

Unknown_13: I bet Frank hooked you and Rachel Amber up with party supplies. Nice try.

Unknown_34: Rachel partied like a fiend on her own. More than me. I doubt that. Like you would know, virgin. That pig over there knows Rachel hung out more with Frank. I mean, don't talk to the cop about that, dumbass.

Unknown_25: Is that a hint? Is that the French giving me a subtle hint that I should go bother about the cops?

1:42:53
Unknown_25: Well, I guess I don't have an option.

Unknown_25: I'm giving myself brain tumors. Every time I rewind, I might as well.

Unknown_19: What can I do for you, Max? Tell me what you know about Rachel and Frank.

Unknown_13: Nathan said that Rachel Amber represents Blackwell. With Frank Bowers.

Unknown_19: Bowers ain't no student anymore.

Unknown_19: Sadly, he does represent one side of Arcadia Bay. I want you to stay out of his orbit, okay? He a man that rabid mutt.

Unknown_13: I heard something about Frank Bowers and his puppy. That boy does love his dog.

Unknown_19: Especially when the dog is your personal drooling bodyguard. You can bet he trained that poor thing on blood.

1:43:28
Unknown_13: Well, that's probably the information, right?

Unknown_25: that's needed is like to uh... I bet I can talk to him about the dog now and he'll help. I bet.

Unknown_17: What the fuck now?

1:44:01
Unknown_17: Yeah.

Unknown_13: You act so scary, but you did save all those dogs.

Unknown_17: One, I'm not acting. Two, who told you about the dogs?

Unknown_13: It's actually a great story. You're an animal lover. You're learning how to manipulate men.

Unknown_17: I'm training you well, Max. I won't even let you pick up the dog shit.

Unknown_25: What an asshole. Can I shoot this guy?

Unknown_17: Besides, you don't want a leash. You want these keys right here. Look at your eyes dilate. You're worse than a junkie, Max. But no fix for you.

1:44:32
Unknown_13: I'm afraid I'll have to take your keys now, asshole.

Unknown_16: You did not just do that. Give me back my keys, bitch. Give me my keys now.

Unknown_25: Do I keep the keys when I rewind?

Unknown_25: Like a magic trick just out of his fucking pocket. Now back to Chloe. That's funny.

1:45:09
Unknown_26: Get fucked, faggot.

Unknown_26: The beanlets! The beanlets cannot compete.

Unknown_25: Oh, here, take this.

Unknown_13: No, no bean boys.

1:45:43
Unknown_25: Fuck you, bean boys.

Unknown_25: We're doing circles around the beanlets.

Unknown_14: On your mark.

Unknown_04: Get set. Throw!

Unknown_25: Throw towards the road or throw in the parking lot. Throw him in the road. Fuck this dog. Get fucked, retard. It's a treat, treat boy. Get fucked.

Unknown_20: The meat is in the street.

Unknown_14: Oh no! Please, please do not let this poor dog be here. I bet he's fine. I'm sure he is. Come on, we definitely don't have time to waste now.

1:46:15
Unknown_01: Why didn't... Oh, please.

Unknown_13: Please don't let that dog be hurt. Or worse.

Unknown_25: Oh, that's a dead fucking dog.

Unknown_13: I don't want to go that way.

Unknown_25: Yeah, you do. I want to go look at that dead fucking dog that you murdered.

Unknown_13: I don't want to go that way.

Unknown_25: That you fucking murdered.

Unknown_25: Okay, I do feel bad about the dog.

Unknown_25: I feel bad about the puppy, I'm sorry.

1:46:51
Unknown_20: I should have known. The amazing Spider-Max.

Unknown_25: Alright, I didn't want to kill the dog.

Unknown_04: Get the treat, treat boy!

Unknown_25: I think we just made that dog our bitch.

Unknown_04: Shut the fuck up.

Unknown_13: Now we can snoop in peace. But let's not waste time. But if we let the dog die, somebody might fuck it.

Unknown_25: So we have to be careful.

Unknown_13: The doggy is busy now, but he might come back.

Unknown_26: It's a pit bull, kill it.

Unknown_20: Damn, I thought my room was a shithole.

1:47:24
Unknown_20: You're not a creepy drug dealer.

Unknown_25: Just steal what the fuck you need and get the fuck out.

Unknown_14: Frank has issues, but he's not creepy.

Unknown_14: At least I didn't think so until I saw him with Rachel's bracelet.

Unknown_14: Oh, we could cruise everywhere in this bad boy. Probably fed Rachel to that fucking dog. Can you see us heading down the coast to Big Sur and beyond?

Unknown_13: Yes, we'd be tearing up the highway. And you'd probably want me to kiss you- God damn it, the fucking chat's frozen again.

Unknown_29: Fuck off.

1:47:59
Unknown_25: The chat dies more than that fucking dog.

Unknown_13: Chloe, we're on a schedule. We need clues about Rachel.

Unknown_20: I know. Just daydreaming.

Unknown_25: This nigga wants to fuck Frank. You're getting Frank sloppy seconds there, Matt.

Unknown_14: You scope the area while I hack his computer for info.

Unknown_13: Frank is on- Okay, this vent is loose.

Unknown_13: I need something to pry it open.

1:48:35
Unknown_26: Ooh, Frank's stash. Steal the drugs.

Unknown_10: Pussy.

Unknown_25: Do you really need to say something every goddamn time I look at anything?

Unknown_13: Yes, I know that!

Unknown_25: Is that a blowtorch?

Unknown_25: Okay, the game is doing this. I can use the blowtorch and permanently destroy the fucking things, or I can find the right tool that's hidden a little bit and not destroy the vents.

1:49:14
Unknown_25: Okay, where's the right tool?

Unknown_25: Nice, there we go.

Unknown_13: This is almost as good as a set of keys.

Unknown_25: Yes, thank you. I figured that out. Nice.

Unknown_13: Curses. Nothing here.

Unknown_13: I have the knife! I have the knife still!

Unknown_25: Are you fucking kidding me?

1:49:47
Unknown_25: It's a good thing I have this super power to rewind fucking time.

Unknown_25: Cause this dipshit breaks every goddamn thing she fucking talks to.

Unknown_25: There we go.

Unknown_24: Take it.

Unknown_13: Oh, man. Rachel and Frank's dog. I don't know if I should be touched or disturbed.

Unknown_25: Well, can you let me read it before you make comments? Hope you read this first thing in the morning. Sorry about that last night. I was being a monstrous bitch and took it out on you. And poor... Uh... Pompidon. Oh, that's the dog. There's a lot of weird shit going on in my life, and sometimes I feel like I'm never going to get out of Arcadia Bay. Thank God for you. You're one of the best things I have here, and I smile when I think of us together. Let's just drive out of here forever. Love you always, Rachel.

1:50:20
Unknown_13: I'm glad Rachel got to drive this beast. Rachel really did hang out with Frank. I'm learning more about Rachel than I want to know.

Unknown_25: She's a slut.

Unknown_13: Trouble in paradise.

Unknown_25: Frank, that was not cool what you did. And don't blame the drugs. You actually scared me. I thought I'd never drill out. Oh, chill out. I've never seen you act that way, and the next time will be the last. I'm a Leo, and we don't look back. Oh, fuck this. You can't even make the fucking notes not cr- fucking awful.

1:50:56
Unknown_25: I care about us, so maybe we need to break our routine.

Unknown_25: She's dead.

Unknown_25: She tried to break up with him, and she's dead now. What was the thing? What was the thing? So you don't look suspicious. Oh, jeez. You're so bad at this.

1:51:27
Unknown_13: That's a pretty extreme lighter.

Unknown_25: Yeah, I guess I don't... Bowtorch has no impact on this. Hey, can I rewind time and not have that fucking thing broken?

Unknown_25: Perfect. I'm getting good at this.

Unknown_10: No more secrets.

Unknown_20: Okay. I think that's it. What's this?

Unknown_13: That's almost cute to see Frank posing with his dog.

1:52:00
Unknown_25: He replaced Rachel with the dog.

Unknown_13: Are these for Frank or is he selling them?

Unknown_13: Or both?

Unknown_25: Okay, we're done.

Unknown_14: That makes me ill that Rachel posed like this for Frank. I wrote him love letters. I can't believe she was banging Frank. Rachel straight up lied to my face. Why didn't she say anything? Because she knew how you would react. And she wasn't much of a friend, huh? Just another person who shits all over me.

1:52:33
Unknown_25: Why does everybody in my life let me down?

Unknown_14: My dad gets killed. You bail on me for years. My mother gloms on the stepfucker. Now Rachel betrays me. Chloe, Rachel is missing. Rachel's been dead for five years, lady. Nobody betrayed you. Bullshit. You totally defended Step Stalker. Fuck everybody.

Unknown_26: Chloe! Everybody betray me. I shows them.

Unknown_25: Ooh. I'm gonna be a bitch.

1:53:10
Unknown_26: Oh, I should have let the dog die.

Unknown_25: He's like, wait a second.

Unknown_25: I detect in a different alternate timeline this lady spilled my beans on the floor.

Unknown_24: Yeah, I'm getting cucked by this game.

Unknown_09: Chloe, you can't keep blaming me and everybody for everything wrong in your life.

Unknown_13: It's so not fair. I gotta blame somebody.

1:53:44
Unknown_14: Otherwise, it's all my fault. Fuck that.

Unknown_09: No, she's got daddy problems.

1:54:16
Unknown_25: Oh geez, I shouldn't have asked if she means David. That would piss her off. You blame William?

Unknown_14: Really? Yes, I do. Damn right. He chose to go out that door and leave me forever.

Unknown_13: Chloe, your dad didn't choose to leave you.

Unknown_14: I know that, Max.

Unknown_14: My mom actually blames herself. Just because she wanted a ride home from work.

Unknown_21: Desire, is that the climax of their relationship together? Is that awkward fucking kiss? No, you don't.

Unknown_14: Yes, Max, I do.

Unknown_14: Do you know what it's like to wait for your father to come home when you're a kid? And he never does?

1:54:50
Unknown_15: No.

Unknown_25: You're not even black.

Unknown_15: Of course not.

Unknown_15: But I was with you that day. It was just a terrible accident.

Unknown_14: I wish that made me feel better. But ever since he died, my life has been dipped in shit.

Unknown_25: Oh, God.

Unknown_13: I can tell. But look at everything that's happened the past week. Your life has changed mine, and that's not shit.

Unknown_20: I'd really love to believe that.

Unknown_14: I'd like to believe in something after what's happened. Chloe, I can't do this out on my own.

1:55:23
Unknown_26: Fuck my dad dying, what a fag.

Unknown_13: I need to go back in time and spill that nigga's beans.

Unknown_25: So he grows a spine and stops being dead.

Unknown_25: I don't know. I still don't hate Chloe. She's just got daddy issues, like every woman to ever exist.

Unknown_25: That's not too bad. Oh, is this the end of the chapter?

1:56:04
Unknown_25: What's that? Oh, that's them when they were young.

Unknown_25: God, Max had an even dykier fucking haircut back then. He looks like the kid from Toy Story, Sid. Nigga, grow some hair.

Unknown_13: Oh no, are the photographs gonna be like time portals to different periods?

Unknown_25: Oh, that would be the gayest fucking thing.

1:56:37
Unknown_25: Max, you need to go to a doctor. You have tumors in your brain, and they're eating the rest of your gray matter up. You're gonna wake up in the fucking nursing home in 50 years from now.

Unknown_25: Use A and D keys.

Unknown_25: Left nothing. Oh, you have to bring it into focus. This is like the lockpicking from, uh... From, uh...

Unknown_25: That game. The one by the Bethesda's.

1:57:10
Unknown_25: Who's left from the rice melt mountain? There we go. I got it. People said Skyrim and Fallout. It's like the only one.

Unknown_25: Oh, she does have hair. It's just an opponent.

Unknown_18: This is a keeper.

Unknown_04: Not until I see it first. You know the rules, Dad. Max, tell him.

Unknown_25: This new feature allows me to see more cut scenes.

Unknown_04: You look totally pale. Are you okay? Yeah, I just... Yeah, I'm fine.

Unknown_18: Okay, Chloe. Give me the thumbs up or thumbs down.

Unknown_18: Wait, we can go back in time and stop her dad from dying.

1:57:54
Unknown_04: Now, what is this?

Unknown_04: William is here. And Chloe is just a kid.

Unknown_18: Am I that far back in time?

Unknown_25: We can go back in time and find Obama's birth certificate.

Unknown_13: I'm 18 years old inside my 13-year-old self. Oh, jeez, that sounds creepy, lady.

Unknown_25: Don't say it like that.

Unknown_25: Look, Chloe has no ass here either.

Unknown_13: Can I not interact with you?

1:58:31
Unknown_13: Really?

Unknown_13: Lady, you're back in time.

Unknown_25: Don't fucking reminisce about movie night.

Unknown_25: Just the end of the dream world, it must be. No!

Unknown_25: No, he's gonna go outside and get hit by the truck.

Unknown_18: Don't do it. Hello? Hey, honey. Just making a fabulous breakfast with Chloe and Max. We're all going to work at the Two Whales.

1:59:06
Unknown_18: What?

Unknown_18: Oh, I didn't know you had to get groceries. Of course, I'll come pick you up. Now I'll have an excuse to get a mocha. Be there shortly. A mocha? Oh, God. Maybe he should be around today.

Unknown_13: I have to stop William from taking his car today.

Unknown_18: I have to go rescue yonder queen at the Save Mart. She don't have many bags of delicious grub for us to feast upon.

Unknown_04: You are ridiculous.

Unknown_18: You'll be grateful for that someday.

Unknown_18: Wait. Shit, where are my keys? Oh, no, I have to find... That's a dollar for the swear jar. You mean your college fund? Keys, please.

1:59:38
Unknown_25: What? Can I draw here? Will I be able to find it in the future? Oh, jeez.

Unknown_25: The game suddenly became moderately interesting. No! You are not allowed to get those keys!

Unknown_18: Fucker! Shit, where are my keys? Goddammit, I have to let him find it first.

Unknown_25: The game has lost me. I have to actually see him take the keys all the way before... before I can intervene. So I have to wait all the way back to this point.

2:00:09
Unknown_01: Aha!

Unknown_18: You can't hide from me forever! She's gonna have to monologue first. Now lock up after I leave. Play nice. Try not to destroy too much of the house. I think.

Unknown_18: No, stop! No, fuck!

Unknown_25: I'm gonna have to wait like an hour!

Unknown_25: Wait, never mind. Okay, thank God. I was about to shoot myself in the fucking head.

Unknown_25: That's true.

Unknown_20: So, how many eggs?

Unknown_18: Don't you dare question the chef.

Unknown_20: Right. Like you're the real cook here.

Unknown_18: Can I sit down?

Unknown_18: I am when your mom is away.

2:00:45
Unknown_20: I'll let her know that.

Unknown_25: Broke keys. Begone, thought.

Unknown_25: What else can I do? Oh, it's over.

Unknown_25: Did I change the course of history?

Unknown_18: I know I had those keys right here. I know it.

Unknown_18: I forgot all about you, little buddy. Release the keys! Oh, gee. I should have let him buy them. Of course. Last time I ordered from Spy Guy Electronics.

2:01:16
Unknown_13: You can take the bus, right? The stop is right down the street.

Unknown_25: The voice actor for Max is trying to sound earlier.

Unknown_13: Oh yeah, the bus is great! It comes every 15 minutes, and there'll be plenty of room for you, and joys, and groceries, and it'll save the environment.

Unknown_18: You sold me already. I'm off to yonder bus stop. I need to go back in time and let this man die.

Unknown_14: Max, you are being so fucking strange. You feel okay? Don't say the F word.

2:01:48
Unknown_25: Chloe, I am awesome.

Unknown_13: We are awesome.

Unknown_25: Oh, God. She's having an autistic fit. Is it going to burn up? Oh, shit.

Unknown_25: Through the power of photographs.

Unknown_25: Look, the game is subtly telling you that with a good father figure, she's not such a thought.

2:02:21
Unknown_25: The power of homosexual, straight, white relationships.

Unknown_25: Oh jeez, this is so inspirational. Look, she still has her hair. It's long and it's not cut and blue.

Unknown_25: What a magical time.

Unknown_25: Did I transform Chloe into the base Darien waifu?

Unknown_32: Hello?

2:02:56
Unknown_28: Are you even listening, Maxine? Wait, wait, no!

Unknown_25: Is Victoria not gonna be a bitch and she's gonna get raped while not being a bitch?

Unknown_26: Oh, no.

Unknown_28: Sorry, Mad Max. You're not pissed at me, right? Right?

Unknown_26: Oh, no.

Unknown_04: I don't want her to get raped anymore. I'm sorry. She's acting, like, so weird. You cool, Max? Nobody listened when I said we shouldn't let her in the Vortex. Courtney, you don't want anybody in the club. Like, whatever, bitch.

2:03:30
Unknown_25: She just gets up and awkwardly lost her life. Good.

Unknown_25: Good. Look, he's a race traitor.

Unknown_26: You don't want anything to do with him. Go away.

Unknown_26: Walk away.

Unknown_09: What's wrong?

Unknown_25: There's nothing wrong right now. Warren's happy. Victoria isn't a bitch. What the fuck?

Unknown_26: Get fucked.

2:04:19
Unknown_25: I can't fix chat because this is the end of the chapter.

Unknown_25: Alright, strap in for some fucking hipster music. Oh look, the birds aren't in the tornado of death anymore.

Unknown_25: Like, I'm gonna admit, like, that last thing was cool. That's interesting. It changed some shit. It made shit interesting, but it wasn't worth the other, like, four hours of my life spent playing this shit. Who's that?

2:04:52
Unknown_25: Is it another eclipse? What the fuck is happening?

Unknown_21: Oh jeez!

2:06:06
Unknown_25: The audio being fucked up during cutscenes is not my fault. It's like this in the other chapters too.

Unknown_18: Max Caulfield. Taking a break after taking Seattle by storm, huh?

Unknown_18: We thought we'd never see you again after you left for the big city.

Unknown_13: No.

Unknown_13: I'd never do that to Chloe.

Unknown_18: Speaking of, I know she's been dying to see you. Hold on.

Unknown_18: Chloe! Chloe! You have a visitor!

2:06:46
Unknown_24: Oh no! What the fuck?! Oh my god!

Unknown_23: What? !

Unknown_24: What the fuck?

2:07:26
Unknown_25: I wasn't expecting that. Way to kill my fucking buzz, you fucking French. Oh man, that was almost like happy for a second. And then they ruined it by making the fucking check- Jesus!

Unknown_25: No, man.

Unknown_25: Okay, I stole money. Show me the stats. Most people did not steal money. Everybody kissed Khloé, of course.

2:07:57
Unknown_25: I sided with David. What? What do you mean only 20? Fuck you. You kept Frank's dog from harm. Almost everybody. Almost everybody kept Frank's dog from harm.

Unknown_25: And Khloé has David's gun. Oh, I didn't even know that was an option. That's why.

Unknown_29: No, let's see the minor choices Lisa is dead. Is that the name of the bird?

Unknown_29: You didn't help Warren with it. I wouldn't know to Why would I want to why would I want to join the rape club party?

2:08:31
Unknown_29: Yeah, I didn't even see that these were these were options I

Unknown_29: Fuck this. This is gay.

Unknown_25: No, wait. No, I wanna be gone. Oh, is this like a teaser for the next thing? I don't want to actually play it.

Unknown_25: I don't want to continue.

Unknown_25: The game is not letting me continue.

2:09:07
Unknown_25: Okay, is that it?

Unknown_25: Hopefully I didn't lose my progress by retarding out and breaking the fucking game.

Unknown_25: Yeah, I'm pressing every button. I'm pressing buttons and they're not doing anything. So I'm guessing that's it. Alt F4. Let's try that button.

Unknown_25: Actually, I'm curious. Did I accidentally erase my fucking data?

Unknown_29: I really hope not.

Unknown_29: Oh, jeez. I'm so nervous now. If I have to play through that again, I'm going to fucking slit my wrist.

2:09:51
Unknown_25: I can't skip these either, so you know.

Unknown_25: How is the game experience enhanced by using a controller? Fuck off. Squinnix.

Unknown_25: Oh yeah, I just lost the save at the last part. It's fine. Okay, sorry, I was just making sure because I would have to actually kill myself if I had broken the game. Alright.

Unknown_25: Alright, alright. I think that's it. I'm going to play a song because I have to pee really bad. And that'll be it for now.

2:10:22
Unknown_25: But thank you for joining. I'll be playing this probably at the exact same time tomorrow. And then after my main stream on Wednesday. The thing is, I want to stream at this time. I don't have much of an option. It's 9pm. But this is also the exact same time Andy Worski does his stream. And it's like, I don't want to stream over Andy Worski, but... I don't have a choice because this is the only time period I have to stream for the U.S. audience. And it's also the time that he does it because he wants to spite Tonka. So I don't know. I'm going to have to keep doing it. I don't have an option.

2:10:53
Unknown_25: This is Doja Cat Moo. Enjoy and thank you for being with me during this two hours of watching lesbians awkwardly kiss at each other.

2:11:34
Unknown_30: Yeah, bitch, I'm a cow, bitch, I'm a cow I'm not a cat, I don't say now Bitch, I'm a cow, bitch, I'm a cow Bitch, I'm a cow, bitch, I'm a cow I go moo, moo, moo, moo I said, bitch, I'm too small

Unknown_31: Bitch, I'm too smooth, I'm not in the mood Tryna make moves, tryna make moves Got milk, bitch, got beef, got steak, ho, got cheese

2:12:54
Unknown_30: Bitch I'm a cow, bitch I'm a cow I'm not a cat, I don't say meow Bitch I'm a cow

Unknown_31: I said, bitch, I'm too smooth. I'm not in the mood. Trying to make moves. Trying to make moves. Bitch, I'm too smooth.

2:14:07
Unknown_30: had a farm i give him a titty trying to keep him calm i'm just trying to turn up in the country i ain't in the city cause they ain't got lawns suck a nigga dick or something me i owe shitting on these bitches only thing i know tipping on the stick i see the chickens and the pigs they wanna catch us riding dirty with them fiends i know i ain't a moose bitch get out my hay get out my hay bitch get

Unknown_30: I ain't a moose, bitch, get out my hay Get out my hay, get out my hay I ain't a moose, bitch, get out my hay Get out my hay, bitch, get out my hay Milkshake brings all the boys to the farm And they're like, it's better than yours Damn right, it's better than yours

2:15:36
Unknown_23: I want a cheeseburger. Fucking beans.

Unknown_25: Oh, God, with fucking beans. Fucking bean-lit motherfucker. Take your fucking beans and throw them on the fucking ground.