0:00:01 Unknown_00: Alright everyone, welcome to a new episode of PSP Tries It. Unknown_02: For $10 you get more than regular fast food, but for a full meal, combo meal, that's really good. Unknown_00: For me, I'm gonna be honest, I'm not a gigantic fan of beef brisket. Oh! Oh my god! That is terrible! That tastes like Bowser's piss! PSP Tries It! Unknown_02: Okay, chat. So this is what I'm up to. Unknown_02: I promised a while ago, because of the Quartering coffee drama, that I would review his coffee. And indeed, I have it right here, chat. 0:00:37 Unknown_02: So this is the brand of coffee, Brand Coffee, that the Quartering personally recommended to me. I did reach out to him. This is the Ultra Dark Roast, supposedly. Unknown_02: says on the back welcome to coffee brand coffee where exceptional coffee uh is our focus we prioritize genuine taste and unmatched freshness without gimmicks each sorry i'm reading this off my screen to my right so that sounds weird that's why uh without Each cup embodies the authentic essence of high quality coffee, ensuring a pure and delightful experience. Welcome to a brand where richness of your coffee is celebrated, making each brew simplified and enjoyable. And this is 12 ounces and it came in at $20.00. It describes itself as having the notes of, let's see if I can get it in focus, baker's chocolate, pipe tobacco, clove, and smoky. It is ground or whole. Actually, there's a little check mark on the whole. So this is whole beans. And so to accompany my decision to buy whole bean coffee, I bought other shit too. All business write-offs for this review. In case you're wondering, check. 0:02:01 Unknown_02: This is the Chestnut Sea by Timemore. This is a coffee grinder. Unlike most reviews, where the person reviewing it has an understanding of what he's doing and has used his equipment many times, as many of you know, I quit caffeine for Lent, did not have a drop of it, still have not had a drop of it, but I figured I might as well have a cup a day just to kind of wake myself up. And yes, I am a little bit congested, but I've checked my olfactory senses, so I can taste and smell just fine. 0:02:34 Unknown_02: The other thing that I bought is this $70 piece of plastic called an Aeropress. Supposedly it's a French press, but it doesn't suck. French presses are fucking awful. In particular, it comes with this. This is an Aeropress filter. This was $3, I think. And what this does is it keeps the grinds out of your coffee for some reason. French people love to munch on coffee grinds when they drink their coffee. Eat their coffee, literally. I don't like eating my coffee. I like drinking my coffee, so I don't like that. 0:03:13 Unknown_02: Supposedly, this is going to be the new and improved way of doing something. Unknown_02: Doing my coffee, rather. Specifically. This, Café Bustelo, you can get this for dollars, pennies on the dollar, at any Walmart, anywhere. So, this is my... When I came home from the U.S., or to the U.S., I... Unknown_02: I started to test every coffee that had K-pods, because my Airbnb had K-pod, like a Keurig machine. So I bought every K-pod they had at Walmart, every one of them. And I tested all of them. Cafe Bustelo, without a doubt, is the best conventional coffee brand that you can buy at a Walmart, basically. So that's my... my control. I know I like this. I'm going to be making three cups of espresso, one cup of Bustelo, one cup of coffee brand coffee, ultra dark, silky, ultra, no, sorry, silky, ultra dark roast, and then one cup of a third coffee that is a surprise. 0:03:46 Unknown_02: Some people already figured out what this is. I don't know how they figured this out based on the information I gave out, but That is indeed... So it's not going to be a surprise to some of you. Anyways, my point of doing this is that I like Café Bustelo. It's perfectly adequate for a coffee. And the price difference is the thing. This is like a couple dollars. 0:04:25 Unknown_02: That's $20. And then the other coffee I bought is like $40. And I don't even think it's going to be good. However, the main difference supposedly is that Café Bustelo freeze dries their coffee immediately and then ultra-fine grinds it to make their... K-pods and stuff. And with this, the quartering, Hambly promised me that these are made days before they're shipped. So this should be as fresh as it gets, Chad. 0:04:57 Unknown_02: So let's make a cup of Café Bustelo. Unknown_02: In case you're wondering, by the way, I'm wearing gloves. The FBI can reconstruct your fingerprints from an image and I don't want to solve any cold cases from the 1990s behind an Arby's Supposedly the way this works is that See Oh God, I'm already fucking up. Okay, I got it. So you got the plunger and you got the thingy. The thingy, you put the coffee filter at the thingy and then you plunge it. But you have to let it sit for five minutes. So I'm going to do that on camera and then I'm going to wait off camera chat. 0:05:36 Unknown_02: I think I found out what the fuck this thing is for that comes with the AeroPress. I put the filter in there and then it's like, how do you get this in? I imagine that this is for pushing this thingy down. Oh, God. Oh, I got it. Yeah, that's right. That looks good. 0:06:09 Unknown_02: Yeah, that looks good. Alright, next. It just occurred to me, how the fuck do I put the coffee in here and let it sit for five minutes before I plunge it? I have to consult the directions on how to make coffee, Chad. Oh, give me a second. Okay, so. Unknown_02: Let's see right here. It says, espresso style. Unknown_02: Prep. Grind your medium fine. Unknown_02: Heat your water to boiling. Or if you have a temperature controlled set it to 85. I've already done that. 0:06:42 Unknown_02: Pull plunger to separate entirely. Put filter. Twist filter cap into chamber. Stand chamber on carafe and add one heaping or 15g of coffee to each espresso style shot that you wish to brew. Shake gently to level. Then add the water. Stir for 10 seconds. It says 10 seconds. No more, no less. Unknown_02: And then, um, insert plunger into chamber and let sit for 30 seconds. Okay. It doesn't take a full five minutes. I guess I might as well try to do this on camera. The only thing wrong is that my camera loves to like shut off. I don't know why the fuck it does that. I've turned this off. It just likes to piss me off. So I'm going to try to do this. I guess I'll reset my fuck up. 0:07:19 Unknown_02: All right, AeroPress in the center, ready to go. So it wants 15 grams. I happen to know off the top of my head that it's two teaspoons. 0:07:51 Unknown_02: It also instructed me to shake it gently, chat. Unknown_02: Now, I believe it wants an eighth of a cup. I think it's 30 grams of water. Unknown_02: Up to first dot for espresso. Okay. That is much more easy than what I had planned. Pouring boiling water into a measuring cup. Cool. That's a good feature I like. 0:08:24 Unknown_01: All right. First dot. That is not very much. Okay. Unknown_01: Coffee is brewing. Unknown_02: Now, before I do that, I'm supposed to do my aroma and my bouquet. The bouquet is just the grinds. Unknown_02: The bouquet of the Cafe Bustelo is... It is... It smells like coffee. It smells like coffee. 0:08:59 Unknown_02: It says to press it in and wait 30 seconds before doing a full plunge. You can't really see that, and I'm not really able to tilt it, so I'm just counting to 30 before I do this. My camera is now warning me it has reached its temperature limit, so after I do this, I will have to fix my camera shot again. Unknown_01: All right, I feel like it's been 30 seconds. I'm going to plunge this motherfucker. 0:09:33 Unknown_01: Alright, that should be a cup of espresso. Let's see. Alright, let's pour it. 0:10:06 Unknown_01: All right, Cafe Bustillo. I know what it is. It comes out of Walmart. Unknown_02: Yeah, it's really pleasant. Unknown_02: The reason why I really like it is that it does not have a very high acidity. Coffee is usually very acrid and I don't like it. It just tastes like shit. So you basically always have to pair it with some kind of dairy product like creamer or whole milk. And that amplifies the flavor of coffee without like, Unknown_02: without ruining it, so that's what I usually do. 0:10:42 Unknown_02: Cafe Bissell does not really need that. It just, it feels kind of watery to drink coffee without milk after drinking it with milk for so long, but... Unknown_02: Yeah, see, you're supposed to be able to detect, like, an aroma in the bouquet, and then you, like, roll it around on your tongue, and you get, like, a palate for it, and it's just like, it's just coffee. Unknown_02: I will say this, I feel like Café Boussel has, like, a nutty flavor to it, and I don't know if they add, like, peanuts or something, but I can actually kind of smell that leather that they talk about. Some coffee has, like, a leather smell to it that you get, like, in cars. 0:11:17 Unknown_02: Yeah, it's definitely the nuttiness of the coffee. It sets it apart, makes it taste better. Now, apparently all of these are coffee arabica and not robusta, which I'm aware is a point of contention in coffee aficionados. Unknown_02: I will say, I do like the French press, or the AeroPress. There's no grinds in my coffee whatsoever. I don't feel like it's too weak. I don't feel like it's too strong. I feel like this is actually a really good cup of coffee. I'm very happy, actually, because I spent a lot of money on all this shit. I'm very eager, by the way, to test this. This is the coffee grinder that I will use for the beans, which is next when I do the coffee brand coffee. 0:11:51 Unknown_02: Yeah, that's fucking good. Unknown_02: I'm really pleased, actually. I know it's just the freeze-dried espresso, but it's like, yeah, that's coffee. I haven't had that in a month and a half at this point. Great. Unknown_02: I will set up the coffee brand coffee next. 0:12:32 Unknown_02: Okay, so, I did Jeremy Hambly an extreme disservice by not opening this bag with the camera running. Unknown_01: It's kind of hard to see. Light, there we go. Unknown_01: We're here, I can hold on. Can you see that? Unknown_02: They are so dark, and when I open that, the smell is great. Unknown_02: I should know how to describe it, I just don't have the words for it. Unknown_02: Yeah, let's see what it tries to say it is. And then I'll... I don't know what I'm doing. I'll just compare it to what they advertise. It says, Baker's Chocolate, Pipe Tobacco, Clove and Smokey. Oh, that's it. That's what it is. It's like a bar. It's like when you walk into a bar and get hit with that cigarette smoke. 0:13:16 Unknown_02: I'm a big fan of that smell. I don't know why. I've never smoked, but I've never been put off by the smell of a bar. Unknown_02: Yeah, that's good. Unknown_02: It is weird. It's hard to describe it. It is like cigarette smoke, which I guess would be off-putting to a lot of people, but I like it. Unknown_02: So I'm going to grind up just a little bit of this, and I guess I'll do that on camera. Let's try to do that on camera. 0:13:47 Unknown_02: As I said, I did Jeremy no favors by not opening that on camera and getting a real reaction to it, because I went, ooh. Ooh. Alright, um, just, just so you know, if it's bad, I'll say it's fucking bad. If it's not worth $20, I'll say that. I don't owe Jeremy anything. Um. So, this thing, this thing looks like a fucking microphone condenser. Unknown_02: You see what I mean? Let's see if I can make the, the brighter. Unknown_01: There we go. Unknown_01: yeah okay so that's the main body that is the handle and then it unscrews like this makes a very pleasant sound it's like ASMR coffee grinding ASMR and then you're supposed to adjust it and this I think is only you get this only from experience so I would have no idea how to adjust the um 0:14:51 Unknown_02: The fineness, I think I've tried to guess, and if it's really coarse, I'll grind it again at a finer amount, I guess. Unknown_02: That's the best I can do. Unknown_02: Maybe a little bit more coffee ASMR. Unknown_02: Okay, so. Unknown_02: It said 15 grams, so that's only two teaspoons. Unknown_01: I think the manual grinder should be able to do that. I'll give it a third, just in case. Now... Just push this in, like... like so. 0:15:44 Unknown_02: There's nothing that we keep in there. Unknown_01: And then I grind it. Unknown_01: I guess I keep going until I can't feel nothing. Just like in real life. That feels good. Unknown_01: God damn it. Unknown_02: Let my glasses fall off. Alright, let's see if I actually ground everything in there. I did not! 0:16:17 Unknown_02: I completely fucked up. There's still a bunch left. Okay. Unknown_01: yeah you can kind of see that like there's a bunch of grinds still left in there so i'm gonna have to fuck around with it till i can get that to work so um oh god spilled a bunch of grinds on the fucking floor so i realized at a certain point that um 0:16:48 Unknown_02: Nothing was coming out whatsoever. You can't really see it, but there's nothing in there. And I realized that the coarseness thing was all the way shut. I thought I had opened it a little bit, but I guess not. So now I'm grinding. Oh, yeah, now it's grinding. Now it's grinding, chat. Fortunately, I spilled a bunch on the fucking floor. Like a fucking retard, but now I don't feel anything. Okay, so it does work great when you don't completely shut off the coarseness. Unknown_01: A little bit of light in here. I'll get the thing. I do want to show you what it looks like. 0:17:26 Unknown_01: It's so hard. Unknown_01: Oh Yeah, there we go. Unknown_02: See it. It's like an excavation one more dinosaur bones and shit Everything got grinded up. I just put a little bit extra in there. So I'm not too afraid about how much I lost It is pretty coarse what I got out. So I think that's what the arrow press even once so we finished grinding this and then um All right, here we go got the Ryan's right here and 0:17:57 Unknown_01: Into the thing. It says to shake. Let's shake. Unknown_01: I did put the filter in. I just did it off camera. Unknown_01: half an inch and it said wait 30 seconds honestly the um the more coarsely ground coffee 0:18:37 Unknown_02: a lot lighter like the actual water you can kind of see it in the camera but it's a lot lighter than the um the expresso was I mean that might just be my fault I'm going to admit we'll see how it looks once I plunger it fortunately looks like some of the grinds did get through that's also probably my fault because I don't know what I'm doing but like that's been 30 seconds do the old plungerino I feel like I fucked up. Unknown_01: That's way too thin. That would be the super dark coffee. I can kind of compare this. Unknown_02: I think this is what I got out of Jeremy's and this is what I got out of the old regular coffee pastelo and it's just much much lighter and I think that is my fault. I might do it again if I just don't taste enough coffee in this. 0:19:38 Unknown_02: Yeah, it's a very light flavor, so I'm actually going to do this again. I apologize. I think I fucked up. Unknown_02: All right. Unknown_02: So I fucked around with it for a while. Unknown_01: This is much, much finer, if I can get the light, than it was before. Unknown_02: It's probably less fine than the Kafei Bustelo, but they say you want it more coarse, but I am certain that I just had it way too fucking thick the first time, and this should be better. If not, I'll just grind it again. Okay, that's looking better. 0:20:13 Unknown_01: It looks like tea, but I hope once I plunger it, it'll be a little bit darker. Unknown_01: Yeah, it's definitely getting darker already. That's great. Unknown_01: I've cleaned out all my instruments, by the way, and I cleaned out my cup. Unknown_01: All right, let's plunger it. 0:20:46 Unknown_01: Yeah. Unknown_01: I'm going to go with this one because I feel like it's still too thick or something or I'm not putting enough in because maybe the espresso is just more like it dissolves or something. Unknown_02: So I'll just run with this. Unknown_01: What else am I going to do? What do you expect? Okay. It's still just the smell of the bar. I'm a little afraid of burning myself. 0:21:19 Unknown_01: There is a little bit of chocolate. Unknown_02: There's a little bit of that chocolate flavor. It's definitely like the tobacco. That's definitely what it is. I was... I don't know what... I didn't know what to expect when I got like ultra dark roast. I was not expecting like tobacco and smoke. I mean, those are things that I'm not like particularly off put by, but... 0:21:54 Unknown_02: I mean, it's not bad. The smell of the beans is very good. I think maybe if I made it a lot more thicker with more grinds, it would be really strong. The question is really, is this so much better than Cafe Bustelo that... Unknown_02: It is worth the price. I mean, I will say there's like an experience to it that's really hard to explain. It's like it coats the tongue. And I want to say that's the oils. Because I read about how to review coffee before I did this. And it has like a very pleasant experience where it kind of like coats the tongue. And I imagine, I think this would pair excellent with milk. I'm drinking it straight for the sake of the review. But I bet you if you put a little bit of milk in this, I might... I might what I'm going to do for the third coffee is I'm going to grind it a lot finer because I keep making because I open it way up and then I keep grinding it um tightening it down and it doesn't really indicate how fine it's going to be and the thing but I want to tighten it even more for the third coffee and then if that one looks a lot better I'm going to make a third cup of Jeremy's and I'm going to try it with and without milk just to kind of round this out 0:23:06 Unknown_02: But yeah, I mean, it's coffee. Unknown_02: It's good. It's not off-putting at all. Unknown_02: It's also, like with the Café Bustelo, I will say that it's not acrid. And I don't know if that's maybe because it's watered down because of how I did it. Unknown_02: But it's not upsetting to drink at all. It doesn't taste cheap. I guess I'll put it like that. It does not taste like fucking Folgers or... Unknown_02: What is it? The ones where it's like something house, Matthew house, whatever the fuck. It doesn't taste like that. It doesn't taste like something you get at a Waffle House or whatever. It's really drinkable. I'm enjoying my cup of coffee. But it's $20 for that bag. And that bag is 12 ounces of beans. The Cafe Bustelo is at least half the price. And it's 10 ounces of espresso, so... 0:23:38 Unknown_02: Yeah, I think that what I'm going to do is I'm going to try a different whole bean coffee, and then after that I will make a third cup of Jeremy's with a little bit of milk and see if it's mind-blowing then, okay? Also, I'm saving a little bit of coffee so that I can compare them cold, because I usually drink them cold, and I have a feeling if I get into making my own coffee in the future, I'm going to do cold press. So I'm not usually somebody who drinks their coffee piping hot, though I know that's a thing that people like to experience when they drink coffee. I keep going back for it. I mean, I've got to admit, I'm sitting here talking with the coffee in my hand, and I'm drinking almost all of it. 0:24:12 Unknown_02: So it's definitely not bad. Unknown_02: Fucking around, chat. Time to get out the big guns. Unknown_02: Alright, here it is. The humiliation round. Jeremy's coffee isn't significantly better than this. He's failed completely. This was more expensive than the other coffee by a lot. I think it was $40 Canadian. Might have been USD. I think it's Canadian. And it is. I'm so embarrassed. I feel like I can shut this thing off right now. And then every step in between doing this and publishing it to the internet is an additional mistake. But I consider myself an entertainer chat. And I'm going to entertain. 0:25:30 Unknown_02: It is the Pippa Pipkin's coffee from Phase Connect. I ordered this from fucking Canada. And this is the humiliation round. Unknown_02: Apparently, nobody likes this. Nobody likes this at all. Not even Pippa. So I picked Pippa out of the lineup of Phase Connect characters, in case you're wondering. Because at one point in time, she called me deer feeder. So I'm going to pay the favor back. I know she probably despises us at this point, but that's fine. It is what it is. Unknown_02: So there's no information whatsoever about the actual coffee. I remember on the site it said something, it's a unique blend as unique as Pippa. So I don't know what the fuck that means. I will say this is less coffee than the Quarter Rings Coffee and Cafe Bustelo. And right off the bat, the packaging is cheaper than Coffee Brain Coffee. Because Coffee Brain Coffee had that really nice packaging. Cafe Bustelo obviously has it. This is like a plain white bag with like a cardboard insert. Right off the fuckin' bat. Um, is there a way to slip this off without damaging my o... I'm just kidding. Don't, don't... Remember to edit that out. 0:26:07 Unknown_02: Okay. Um... Okay, I did. I managed to not destroy Pippa's face in the process of... You know, as I can, as I predicted, this is a plain white bag, but they put a cardboard insert around. Um... Now my main concern here is that Hambly was very certain that the fresh brewed coffee is the best, and you want it brewed as close to when you make the cup of coffee as possible. I am almost certain that this has been sitting in a Phase Connect warehouse in Canada for probably a year, because I don't think anybody has ever fucking bought this before. I may be the first. 0:26:41 Unknown_02: It just says a lot about me, I guess. How the fuck do I open this? I don't want to tear it. There's like, Hambly's has like this very nice ziplock thing on the inside. This is things that I don't consider. Maybe Hambly went all out on the fucking packaging. That's why it's so fucking expensive. This has like a weird like tie around the top. And there's no no obvious way. Especially with gloves on. Especially with my murderer gloves on. 0:27:21 Unknown_02: I didn't have to take my gloves off for Hambly's thing by the way. I'm just going to point that out. Unknown_02: I'm still fumbling to open the fucking packaging. It's glued at the top, but at the same time, you can't cut it because the zip tie at the top is so close to where you would cut it. Maybe you do have to cut it. I'm going to try to cut it as close to the black tie as possible. I feel like DSP. 0:27:53 Unknown_02: DSP tries it. Unknown_02: Okay, I cut it. Unknown_02: Because it's a plain white bag, I did not cause any... Okay, so I'm going to do Pippa a favor. I did not do Hambley. I'm actually going to smell the coffee as it comes out the box. Unknown_02: Oh, it's perfumey. It's very perfumey. It's not dark at all. Unknown_02: Strawberries, immediately. Right off the top. Strawberries. 0:28:33 Unknown_02: It's a light roast. It's very, very fruity. It's almost saccharin. Unknown_02: Yeah, it's like strawberries. It smells like a strawberry milkshake. Unknown_02: It's actually a good smell. Unknown_02: It's just not, you can't say that, because it's not masculine. I need the car leather, smoky ashtray smell. I don't need the really fruity, I guess it's a good blend for spring, man, because it's strawberries. Let's get my murderer gloves back on. I'll show you the insides of the container in one second. I've just been staring at a face of a rabbit anime girl this entire time. This is the inside. And there's not enough fucking light to see it. 0:29:05 Unknown_01: How about this? I'll pour a little bit of... I've got Pippa beans on my fucking floor. Unknown_02: Light roast, I think. Maybe... It does look right. I'm going to say this. As I grind this, let me just say there's absolutely no way to justify the price. Unless, like... I know there's like that rare cat in India that they force-feed coffee beans and then they like make coffee out of the poo. Maybe they do that with the actress for Pippa. That would at least justify the price. It still wouldn't be something I go out of my way to buy for $40. But at least I could understand... Ooh, that strawberry smell is so strong that when I grind it, it like percolates through the air. But at least I would understand why somebody would spend $40 on a smaller bag of coffee. I don't even know how much it is. I think it's like 8 ounces as opposed to 12. 0:30:15 Unknown_02: That's what you get when you buy the premium weeb shit, I guess. Unknown_02: You can only imagine how much they spend on those fucking figurines they jerk off on. Alright, so I got my coffee. Unknown_02: Let's pour this in and brew it. Unknown_01: Alright. Hmm. Unknown_01: Yeah, it's definitely... It's much finer ground now than I did for Hamley's. Unknown_02: Now that it's ground up, it still has that really strong strawberry smell. 0:30:52 Unknown_02: It's just really sweet, and the bean smells good. Unknown_01: I don't know how to put it. It smells like a dessert. Unknown_01: I'm absolutely fucking loathe if I actually... Unknown_01: They have no shame Wow, so when I pour it in that's called the aroma I 0:31:25 Unknown_02: And it smells like hay. It kind of reminds me of a barn. Like a horse or something. And that really scares me. Because I don't know what the fuck they do for this coffee. To make it the Pippa coffee. But... I'm getting barn smell off of it. I don't know if that's a good sign. Unknown_01: Has that been 30 seconds? I want to say that the... Unknown_02: The output of this fineness is much better than what I got for Hambleys. So I will actually do a third cup of Hambleys. Just to be fair. 0:32:00 Unknown_01: Yeah, this feels right. Unknown_02: This feels so much harder to press because the grinds are so fine. And it's forcing it through the filter. That feels like I did that correctly. Unknown_01: Dude, that smells so much like a horse. 0:32:33 Unknown_02: Yeah, it is this overwhelming smell of hay, like used hay. Maybe they're going for the inside of a rabbit cage. I'm trying not to be gross or too mean, but the smell of the beans was extremely fruity and inviting, and it smelled like a dessert for springtime. like a strawberry shortcake or something but when I brew it the aroma of the coffee this see this is like before you know with with Hambly's and with the bestella it's like so it's just like yeah this smells like coffee it smells like bean juice right um but this this has definitely got a flavor to it okay so yeah this the strawberry smell is almost completely gone now that it's cooked and it just smells like a barn so uh let's drink it I guess 0:33:19 Unknown_02: Um, let me get some light into it. It's much lighter in person. I guess I have my ISO too low or something. Unknown_02: Hmm. No strawberry flavor whatsoever now that it's brewed. Unknown_02: It also has that kind of astringency. It's not very much, but it is definitely more astringent than, um, than Hambly's or Bastilla. Unknown_02: Yeah, it's just off. I don't know. I'm trying to find a positive thing to say about it. Yeah, it's a little bit off. Unknown_02: It has a kind of acidic taste to it that I'm not fond of and I'm explicitly looking away for. The smell of the roasted beans is really good. As I said, but once it's, um, brewed, it loses that strawberry-ness completely. And it, it honestly, it just smells, even when I taste it, it smells like I'm inside of a barn. Um, so, um, yeah, I saw that, um, she had asked on Twitter, did anyone like the coffee? And this is definitely not, this is something that I can drink. I'm definitely gonna like finish this cause I, you know, it's coffee, but yeah. It's not like repugnant to the senses or undrinkable. It's just like, it's so weird how the smell and the flavor after being brewed are just so incongruent with each other. 0:34:31 Unknown_02: Okay, redemption round. See if I can do this one better than before. I've got my grinds right here. There you go, super fine, just like I did Pippa's. Unknown_02: That's much better. Unknown_01: That's much better. Unknown_02: It's so much darker. Unknown_02: I'm going to say, because I said this when I did the last one, that it hit me with that smell of bar on. Unknown_02: The smell that comes out, the aroma, I think is what they call it when you start brewing it, is much similar to the beans. There's no lack of that smoky bar smell. So, no thing, no bait and switch strawberry scent with this one. 0:35:12 Unknown_02: that's been 30 seconds 30 I don't know I'm impatient a little bit I want to do this right I want to give them a good shot nice and slow all right that's my coffee brand coffee oh I can see the oils I don't know if I could possibly catch that yeah you can you can see the oils of the coffee awesome that's what you want I did it right this time 0:35:54 Unknown_02: Oh, now the chocolate's in there. Yeah. Uh-huh. I can taste the chocolate. Unknown_02: Still definitely taste... I don't know what the fuck a clove tastes like. Like the shit you put in soup. Unknown_02: Pipe tobacco, yeah. It is as advertised. I'm going to give it that. Now that I'm looking for those things, I can taste the chocolate. I can taste the tobacco. I can smell the ash, the smoke, the pipe tobacco smoke when I smell the bag when it opens up. It is as advertised. 0:36:28 Unknown_02: And Pippa's Coffee, or I should say the Faye's Canuck Coffee, because she didn't really have anything to do with it, I guess. She probably just told them, I like 12 Baileys. And they're like, okay, okay, retard. Let's make some coffee then. Unknown_02: That one is acrid. And when I was preparing the setup for this brew, I noticed that I had a little bit of that upset, like regurgitation, just because I hate acidity. So I was kind of having a little bit of reflux. This, like, I just appreciate how there is no acidity to this whatsoever. It's so smooth. Unknown_02: It's good. I mean, I think that my takeaway is I think Jeremy actually does care about making good coffee. I don't know if this is $20 a bag good, especially because he sells it whole bean. I think he might sell it ground, too, because, yeah, the bag says it also comes in ground. Yeah. 0:37:07 Unknown_02: I just think that the market for that, the market, because, you know, people get into their habits. They go to the store and they buy their Folgers or they buy their Bustelo. And then, you know, once I went through all my K-Cups, I'm like, okay, Bustelo, this works for me. I'm going to buy this coffee. Would have never thought about buying coffee brand coffee if I saw it on the shelves of Walmart, you know? So the people who are going to buy this are either people convinced to buy it word of mouth or people who know Jeremy Hambly. And That's why you want to keep those expenses as low as possible because it's like that's your audience. It's just that circle of people. 0:37:45 Unknown_02: So I'll say this is good, and I'll say that nobody who likes coffee would probably turn this down. You know, they'll drink it. They might even like it. Yeah. Unknown_02: I'm not somebody who goes out of my way to buy dark roast, but I can taste the chocolate. I can taste the tobacco. I can taste the smoke. I like it. Unknown_02: It does feel like a wake-up coffee. I just woke up. So as I'm filming this, I was like, let's get into my coffee shit. 0:38:20 Unknown_02: And I'm satisfied with it. Unknown_02: Would I spend $20 for a full bag again? Unknown_02: Probably not. I'm going to be real with you. So I have a genuine suggestion here. Unknown_01: Okay, my camera's frozen. Fuck me. How long has it been frozen? I feel like such a dipshit. Have I only been checking the viewfinder? Unknown_02: I have. I've totally only been checking the viewfinder. So here's the coffee. Man, I'm such a retard. 0:38:54 Unknown_02: Anyways, so that's my takeaway. Here's my honest suggestion. Here's my honest suggestion. Unknown_02: Handley, instead of doing Coffee Brand Coffee, should do Your Coffee Brand. That should be the name of the company. I'm being serious. I think this is a fucking genius idea, and I think I'm a fucking 1,000 IQ Mad Max genius right now. Look, these animes need coffee and the phase connects in Canada. They're exporting from Canada, which is about to be hit by like 10 trillion percent tariffs. So what you do is you reach out to these influencers because Jeremy already makes like 10 trillion different kinds of coffee, right? He seems to really like having a wide variety of coffee so that there's no economy and scale at all. 0:39:34 Unknown_02: So reach out to all these influencers and do a Your Coffee brand sale. Talk to these people because he seems to really like his coffee. Talk to them and figure out what kind of coffee do you want. Get them to be like, I like strawberry. Make the strawberry coffee that doesn't taste like horse. And then sell that and just be a white label. And that way, you don't have to rely on your audience and you don't have to rely on people finding you at Walmart or Amazon because you're going to have all these other people selling your coffee under their name. Everyone seems to want to have a coffee anyways. You have the Tim Pool coffee, the New Project Brew, the Corwin coffee. You got all these fucking people selling coffee. Well, make it easy on them. And... coordinate with these other influencers and get them to sell your coffee for you. And that way, when I buy the fucking meme coffee off the internet for a joke review, I'm like, hey, this is surprisingly good. It's not $40 good, but I'm going to drink the rest of this. You know what I mean? I think that's the way to go. I think I'm a genius. I just saved Quartering's business right there. His coffee's good, but it's like... I'll tell you my real takeaway of this. Like I said, his audience is going to come from Amazon and from... Sorry, from his own audience and nobody else, right? So... I wasn't going to say that. Oh, if I wanted to, when I do this, if I'm going to buy more coffee, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to go to a local brewer and I'm going to buy my coffee beans locally because then it's as fresh as possible. I know they buy the fucking beans and I brew them on the site and I get them the same day that they're brewed, right? No shipping, no waiting, and I'm supporting a local business. That's where I'm going to get my coffee. So you're really at a disadvantage. The people who do want to support an American business are going to buy local because why would they buy internet when they... And buy anything internet. If you're going to go to the internet to buy your coffee, you're going to buy the best coffee that you could possibly get or that you want to pay for. You're not going to buy the internet influencer coffee. So I think that he's really barking up the wrong tree. He's going down the wrong path. I think there is a demand for what he's doing, but he needs to white label it. I'm being dead serious. This is honest. I honestly feel like this is a million dollar idea. Make your coffee and then send out samples to the people that like phase connect and be like, look, your coffee sucks. You're making it in Canada. Americans are your main consumer base. They're not buying it. I can make it in America. I can avoid the tariffs. I can ship it locally in a couple of days. His coffee arrives super fucking fast to where I'm at and people are going to like it because I know what I'm doing. I have just saved your fucking business, Hambly. Feel free to write me a check when you're a millionaire, all right? Feel free to take me on a tour in your plane. Here it is, final view of it. Let me take a sip of Cafe Bustelo, see how it holds up. 0:42:34 Unknown_01: It's good. Well, here's what I'll say. Unknown_02: Cafe Bustelo is a good coffee. I like it a lot. It pairs excellent with milk. But the Coffee Brand Coffee is notably more flavorful, and that's probably because... Unknown_02: The coffee is just older because of how they distribute it from Bustelo. And so the flavors are less prominent. So I'll give them that. This is a good cup of coffee, probably not worth $20. And if it is worth $20, I'd rather just support local brewers or local roasters that roast in the area. Sorry, I got a grind in my throat. That's why I fucking hate coffee grinds. Anyways, I hope you have enjoyed this review. Thank you so much for being a member of the Locals. If you're watching this on Locals, madatheaternet.locals.com. If you're not, I appreciate everybody's support. And again, I hope you've enjoyed this.