MATI on Locals- Approach Her Now ( April 14, 2025 2025-04-14

0:00:00
Unknown_04: Hello, you absolute legends.

Unknown_04: This is a special Locals video, as opposed to the Gumroad video, which I can no longer do because Stripe has me banned. This is for the Locals people.

Unknown_04: Thank you very much for switching over. I know it's a huge pain in the ass to set up a Locals account. It's a very different thing than Gumroad. And now I will reward you for it.

Unknown_04: I'll reward you for your sacrifice, both in terms of time and monetary value, by reading to you excerpts from a book by Karl Jobst. As I've discovered, he prefers to be called, even though his name is German, and the pronunciation is actually Karl Jobst.

0:00:39
Unknown_04: He prefers Carl Jobst, which is his first problem with women.

Unknown_04: But there are many other issues that he has. This cover, I guess it's just vaguely pornographic. It's supposed to catch the eye of, like, gooners, I guess.

Unknown_04: So it's called Approach Her Now, How to Get Over Your Fear of Approaching Women, all caps.

Unknown_04: Now, his book is 57 pages long. I read it. It's very short.

0:01:16
Unknown_04: I don't think it's really a book. I think it's like an e-pamphlet or something that he sold on his website. But here's the gist of this, okay? Here's what he does. This is effectively him advocating for exposure therapy. For women, like for talking to women. So this is a very poorly written book, I feel is safe to say. And a lot of it is filler, unfortunately. I was really hoping for like a hilarious Descendant of Madness. But it's really dry. And when I read it, it felt like he was just desperately trying to get to a certain page limit. However, in retrospect, I don't really think that's the case. It feels that way when you're reading it. However, I think if you just consider who he is and his approach to speedrunning and shit... I feel like he just really does feel the need to break things down to these atomic particles that, like, don't actually make any sense on their own. Unless you're, like, in this autistic mindset that he is in. So let's just get into it, actually.

0:02:19
Unknown_04: The book is kind of weird in how it starts, too, because there's, like, an about page. Then there's, like... I don't know. I'll just read it. So...

Unknown_04: why are you reading this book? And then there are three parts I highlight that say, I believe, I know you believe. This is what I was told in literally fifth grade writing. When you are writing something, you do not have to use qualifiers like I believe, unless it's really important to kind of emphasize that this is your opinion and your opinion is not founded on facts. And You know what I mean? You don't have to tell the reader that you believe something, because obviously you believe it. You wrote it into a fucking book.

0:02:55
Unknown_04: Why are you reading this book? I believe that if you're reading this book, you would like more women in your life. You want to be a more attractive man, and you would like to date a woman of your choice. I also believe that if you're reading this book, then you know the value of being approachable, or being able to approach women. So not being approachable yourself, but able to walk up to them, rather.

Unknown_04: And he elaborates more on each of these points. But finally, I believe that even though you want more success with women, and even though you know the importance of approaching a lot of women in order to achieve that goal, there is something stopping you. If you're reading this book, it means you want a solution. You want to be able to go from a man that cannot approach women to a man that can approach women anywhere, anytime, in any way he wants. Because just like any other skill practice makes perfect. And if you practice a lot, you will become good.

0:03:28
Unknown_04: Very good. Very dramatic.

Unknown_04: So then the second one is an advertisement for his online coaching.

Unknown_04: Um,

Unknown_04: Just if you want to have a Skype call with me, the guy even says down here, if you go to this link, you get coaching directly from me via Skype. Me, the Carl Jobs. You can get him on the line. That's a joke. Maybe you can still pay for this and get him and be like, I want to approach this hunky dude. named billy um if you don't get me wrong if you follow the so the weird thing about this ad is like it undermines like the book like you bought this book but he's advertising the real solution which is talking to him but he has to clarify don't get me wrong if you follow the advice in this book you will destroy your approach anxiety but talking to me is better Now, this is the great thing. This is a copyright disclaimer. He put an entire page dedicated to his copyright.

0:04:55
Unknown_04: All contents copyright. See 2014 by Carl Jobs.

Unknown_04: No part of this document, no part of this document or accompanying files may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, electronic or otherwise, by any means without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Unknown_04: Unfortunately for him, I live in the United States of America and fair use is a thing. So while I will not be reproducing this book in a way that people can read it on their own, I will be providing my fair use commentary over this extremely short fucking pamphlet.

0:05:35
Unknown_04: The rest of this, by the way,

Unknown_04: appears to be copied from a different book.

Unknown_04: He says that while every effort has been made by this author to be up to date, it is apparent technologies rapidly change. Therefore, the author and all associated contributors reserve the right to update the contents and information provided herein as these changes progress, which doesn't really fit the theme of the book. Like, women don't really change, I don't think, but he refers to women as technologies, and there's no technology in this book, so I'm forced to assume that he is copying this in his...

0:06:12
Unknown_04: In his copyright disclaimer, he is copying somebody else's disclaimer. Okay, great.

Unknown_04: He assumes no liability for any actions taken, whether monetary, legal, or otherwise, by any and all readers of the material provided. So if you walk up to a woman and you get scalding hot coffee dumped in your face and you are now disfigured on top of being autistic, you cannot sue him because he says you cannot. Therefore, no guarantees are made. You can read this book, you can call the man on Skype, but you may still be a quivering mess, unable to approach her now at the end of it.

0:06:54
Unknown_04: Chapter 1 Fundamental Ideas and Beliefs The Cold Hard Truth The undeniable truth is that if you want success with women in the quickest way,

Unknown_04: Oh, the quickest way to get it is to meet a lot of different women.

Unknown_04: So I take issue with the very first sentence of this. I don't think that that is accurate. There's a weird thing where, I think with pickup artists, because he mentions pickup artists in the book. Oh, yeah, I'll just read ahead and then I'll get some of my thoughts. He goes to my story. Hi, my name is Carl Yopst. He's a pronunciation guy, I think.

0:07:36
Unknown_04: I started off about eight years ago and became passionate about learning to be a more attractive man. You see, I was terrible with women at the time, and quite simply, I was not a happy person in general. I was sick and tired of being lonely and feeling so weak around women I found attractive. I decided to do what any tech-savvy young male would do. I went online.

Unknown_04: Well, that was your first mistake. He continues and says, I watched seminars by some of the biggest names in the industry, David DeAngelo. I was blown away. The concepts and ideas he was describing were so different to the beliefs I currently held. I became aware of just how little I knew about women.

0:08:14
Unknown_04: We don't know. David DeAngelo is one of the most famous pickup artists of all time. He's pretty fucking ugly. He's like a magician or some shit, if I remember correctly. So his whole thing is about tips and tricks you can use to seduce women at the bar.

Unknown_04: And he goes on to name more pickup artists from guys like David DeAngelo to Lance Mason to guys like Mystery and Tyler Durden. I am unaware if Tyler Jordan is the assumed pen name, nom de plume, if you prefer, of a pickup artist, or if he's like reading Zero Hedge articles and doesn't know that Tyler Jordan's not a real person, or if he just assumes that Tyler Jordan from the movie Fight Club is a pickup artist that you can learn from.

0:08:46
Unknown_04: If you just if you just become Brad Pitt and walk around shirtless and a Hawaiian only wearing a Hawaiian shirt on top of nothing exposing your abs, you will just become attractive to women for some reason.

Unknown_04: So the point is that he watched all these pickup artists. But there was an issue. Sure, he learned the greatest tips on how to pick up chicks from anywhere, anytime, any way. But he didn't know how to approach them. So he kind of like, he was all payload and no launcher. He had like 27 RPGs ready to go, but no RPG launcher to launch them with. That's what he's trying to say. He couldn't get it up. He couldn't muster the courage to go out and conquer the babes. So he had to learn on his own without the help of Mr. Durden in order to accomplish this task of actually approaching women. That's his core thing. That is approach her now.

0:09:40
Unknown_04: He goes on to say, the secret, I learned that all the gurus in the industry have never dealt with my problem. So all those guys picking up women, they never had approach anxiety, he says. So he had to learn on his own.

0:10:16
Unknown_04: So here's my issue, is that he is trying to become a pickup artist, which is not like...

Unknown_04: I felt there's two kinds of encounters. You're either trying to get into a relationship or you're trying to have casual sex with anonymous people, like just complete strangers. And he seems entirely focused on being a pickup artist and having anonymous sex. which is bizarre. I don't feel like many people just want to be a pickup artist. I feel like a lot of people who end up falling into pickup artistry are trying to have a real relationship, but they're too stupid to understand the difference. So they just fall up into, oh, if I just walk up to a babe and I'd be like, hey, babe, You're looking smashing or sorry. That's not what they do. They go, Hey babe, you're looking okay. Your chin's a little bit big, but I can look past that. You know, like that. I gotta nag her. If I just make her feel bad about herself, she'll want to want to have sex with me to make up for it. Like that's the, that's the pickup artist strategy. So right off the bat, it's a little bit bizarre that his idea is that you just have to approach as many women as possible. And I think I'll continue that thought later.

0:11:35
Unknown_04: Become your own psychologist. That actually sounds like really fucking bad advice.

Unknown_04: Especially if you're talking like extremely socially retarded people.

Unknown_04: So one of his favorite things to do, it's quite Christ-like, actually. He likes to speak in metaphors. So he asks, a doctor practicing in the year 1900 or a doctor practicing in the year 2014, which would you prefer? And he would say, obviously, you would want the modern doctor to practice medicine on you than the older doctor. And that's because medicine is outdated, he says.

0:12:07
Unknown_04: Then he goes,

Unknown_04: Quite simply, a doctor practicing medicine today has a far better understanding of the way our bodies work than a doctor who did 100 years ago. Therefore, they can make more accurate predictions and make better decisions. They'll also have far better chance of attaining their goal. Assuming they had their equipment, I suppose, would help a lot.

Unknown_04: Then he goes and explains, this is like a full fucking page. This is why I thought it was filler, because you have so much of this shit, and it's like you really don't need two pages to explain this. But then he goes, the answer is simple. Approaching a strange woman in the hopes of getting her approval and possibly her consent for sex is a daunting and scary concept for most men. In practice, attempting to do so will elicit an incredible surge of anxiety and fear. In fact, the spike in anxiety is so great that Near every man will be paralyzed with fear and will be physical, that's his writing, not mine, physical and capable of making the approach.

0:12:42
Unknown_04: If only.

Unknown_04: Oh, he does use the term pickup artist, pickup artist handbooks.

0:13:17
Unknown_04: So why is the distinction between a psychological problem and a relationship problem so important? The distinction tells us where to focus our attention.

Unknown_04: And then he has a very identical metaphor. His whole point with the doctor analogy is that you want somebody who's had the same problem as you to diagnose your issues. Somebody who's never had approach anxiety like David DeAngelo or Tyler Durden will never have the advice to give you to teach you how to overcome that anxiety.

Unknown_04: So then he launches into another tirade with a metaphor. Mend your broken bones before building your muscles. Imagine that you want bigger muscles. I think almost all of us already know how to achieve that goal. We could go to a gym and perform certain exercises, eat an adequate amount of protein, get enough rest, and our success will be soon to follow. This is pretty straightforward and common knowledge.

0:13:55
Unknown_04: And then after a full fucking page, he explains the muscle metaphor.

Unknown_03: Does he not explain it in this entire fucking page?

Unknown_04: No, he doesn't. Okay.

Unknown_04: So practice is different. He explains it later. I remember highlighting this. Practice is different to performance. One of the biggest breakthroughs came when I realized that there is a very large difference between practice and performance.

0:14:27
Unknown_04: And this, in my fucking opinion, is the most mind-blowing thing about this entire book. He says, I have played guitar for over 15 years. For several years, I was a professional guitar teacher and was able to help many students achieve their goals. I know very well the processes that one would need to go to in order to become proficient on this instrument.

0:14:59
Unknown_04: So here's my obvious follow-up question to this. You know how to play guitar, and you know how to actually talk to people to educate them on how to play the guitar, presumably even women. So how the fuck are you having issues? I think most guys learn how to play the guitar to get laid. Yeah. You know what I mean? He just kind of casually throws that out there and is like, yeah, I am like very proficient at an instrument that is like a quintessential wooing the ladies instrument.

0:15:33
Unknown_04: Like writing a song, performing a song for a woman is probably the single most romantic thing that a guy could ever fucking do. And he just like has no concept of integrating that into his life.

Unknown_04: And that's because he's obsessed with this pickup artistry, where he just wants to have casual sex. And it doesn't even occur to him that he might be able to have a real relationship and use his guitar skills to impress people.

Unknown_03: Very bizarre.

Unknown_03: So exploring practice. Practice is universally known to be the fastest way to acquire skills.

0:16:14
Unknown_04: That's supposed to be one alternative.

Unknown_04: Practice is actually faster for leveling up and collecting rare candies, bro. Practice is actually way better than downloading books and neuro-upgrades on your neuro-link for your brain. There's not really any alternatives. I guess YouTube videos? You have to practice even if you watch YouTube videos. If you wanted to learn the guitar and your goal was to play on stage in front of an audience, how would you go about achieving that goal? If your goal was to become a professional football player, how would you achieve that goal? He concludes practice is the best way to improve performance. Wow.

0:16:46
Unknown_04: I didn't know that. Nobody has ever told me that before. He likes to break down. Here's like one of these things that he does where he likes to break down very common, easily understood concepts.

Unknown_04: I'm just going to skip over this. Like everyone knows what the fuck practice and performance is.

Unknown_04: Okay, this is a thesis of his, but he actually spells this wrong. Become results orientated. When you are oriented, you're heading that direction. When you're orientated, you're like facing a cardinal direction. I'm pretty sure that's a distinction. They become results oriented, not results orientated. In a world dominated by ego, it is all too common for people to make decisions based on what they think will happen and not what actually is happening. For years, I would tell myself, this weekend will be different because I am going to try harder. I was trapped in an illusion of how I thought I was going to perform the next time I tried to approach one mountain. If you're anything like me, you need to stop this thinking. Stop it now. Instead, you should be focusing on how you have performed in the past and making decisions accordingly.

0:17:58
Unknown_04: So, don't just try. You have to try to win.

Unknown_04: Uh, and in case you're wondering, no, he doesn't actually explain how this, uh, ties into his method. And that's like kind of an insult in this book. We're like 18 pages in. He never, so much of this is just prelude to like a, an essay that could probably just fit on a forum post. All of this is completely unnecessary to be quite honest with you.

Unknown_04: Chapter two, anxiety. What is anxiety? And then he explains, the dictionary gives us its definition. Anxiety, a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome. And then he says... So he's taken up half a page already. Chapter two headline, what is anxiety? He says that in order to understand anxiety, you have to know what the definition is. Like, yeah, no fucking shit. So here's the dictionary definition. By the way, speaking of Mr. Copyright over here, this is probably from the Oxford Dictionary, and he's not even citing his source. So that is copyright infringement.

0:19:04
Unknown_04: But then he says, additionally, as fucking insult to my fucking face, after reading this fucking book, This isn't news to us. Yeah, it's not. We don't need the definition for anxiety. Everyone knows what anxiety is. And we all know very well what anxiety feels like. So what's the fucking point of this? But it's one of the full chapters in the book.

Unknown_04: How does anxiety affect us? Well, gosh, golly, I don't know. But thankfully, Wikipedia has the answer. And then he just includes a full fucking excerpt from Wikipedia.

0:19:38
Unknown_04: Like, how fucking lazy? What is the point of this? And then he does the exact same thing after this. He uses an entire fucking page of his book to explain how anxiety affects us, just quoting Wikipedia, and then says, this isn't news to any of us. Well, then why include it? What is the purpose of it? Why did I have to read this to read your fucking book?

Unknown_04: And then he says, are there any different types of anxiety? No. But then he goes on to say, there's social anxiety and performance anxiety. So there are causes of anxiety, but no different types of anxiety. Anyways, here's the two different kinds of causes of anxiety. It's like, what fucking pedantry? What a fucking asshole I am.

0:20:11
Unknown_04: Then we have, can we choose not to feel anxiety? Well, it depends.

Unknown_04: So then he explains the difference between how you feel and how you feel in the future, which is an arbitrary distinction. And the answer to this, I guess, is either no or yes. I would say the answer is yes. Yes, you can choose if you feel anxious or not.

Unknown_04: But then he goes on to explain that while you can't choose how you feel, you can choose how you feel in the future. And studies show that 90% of people with acute phobias can be cured of their fears by a process called exposure therapy. This is very true. There's nothing really to say about that. It's kind of the thesis of his book. And there is like a...

0:20:51
Unknown_04: Like a thread of truth in what he's saying. It's like, yeah, if you have anxiety about just approaching people and you really want to approach people, then approaching people and just saying, hey, is probably the right thing to do to get over that, to be able to walk up to somebody. Like if you notice somebody drop something, you know, you can make an effort to pick it up and say, hey, you dropped this. And that's getting over agoraphobia or just talking to strangers and shit. There is truth to that. But it's entirely at service of being a pickup artist, which is the weird thing. He's trying desperately to get over his fear of striking up conversations with random women on the street who are just minding their own fucking business so that he can try to neg them to make them feel bad about themselves so that he can have sex with them. That's like... That's his whole point. He needs to get over his crippling social anxiety so that he can harass women better.

0:21:30
Unknown_04: Your angstity is her angstity.

0:22:09
Unknown_04: Hulman is empathetic. Wow, I didn't know that. You mean to tell me that women have empathy? Gosh. News to me, brother. In fact, not only are we experts at identifying emotions in others, but we actually feel the emotional states of others. So if you're anxious, she's anxious. Let that sink in. And he goes on to explain this for another three fucking pages. And I'll just give you the summary. Anxiety is a fear of something that does not pose a legitimate danger or threat. That is actually completely fucking wrong.

0:22:41
Unknown_04: If you are on death row and you've been told that at some point in the next week you will be executed... Uh, the, you are, it might actually be anxious and that might actually be a legitimate danger.

Unknown_04: You know, uh, anxiety is not just a state of mind is a response to chemical and hormonal releases in our brains that are very real, have a very real impact on us, which I mean, that's also like you're helpless to your emotions. Anxiety will change the way our bodies behave and the way our brains think. Um, sure.

Unknown_04: Social anxiety and performance anxiety both play major roles in creating approach anxiety.

0:23:23
Unknown_04: These are all things that he made up, so he can say whatever he wants. We cannot simply choose not to feel anxious. What we can do is learn to decondition ourselves to anxiety over time.

Unknown_04: I disagree. We are designed to be able to detect the emotional states of others. We cannot hide our anxiety from people around us. Our anxiety will make other people feel more anxious, too. If you're feeling high levels of fear, it will stop you from taking action.

Unknown_04: You know, there's a little clip of something that I'm suddenly reminded of that I'm going to play right now.

Unknown_02: Then the very first thing that comes out of Anakin's mouth is a very awkward and inappropriately placed compliment.

0:24:03
Unknown_01: So have you. Grown more beautiful, I mean.

Unknown_01: Inappropriate compliment. She smiles lovingly and dismisses it as nerves. Women don't mind an initial nervousness from a guy. It's complimentary and cute to them. But it gets old real fast. Assertiveness needs to take over quickly. But too much assertiveness and arguing with your boss to impress her comes off as a pathetic and desperate attempt for attention. Inappropriate assertiveness.

Unknown_04: In case you're wondering, Mr. Plinkett is, in fact, a real authority on the whamon.

0:24:38
Unknown_04: I find that this is true. It is cute to women if you're nervous to talk to them. But the issue that he has is that women are creeped out by him because he's a gangly albino pickup artist, wannabe pickup artist. who's like, hello, ladies, you are looking quite okay today. Your chin is quite large indeed, but I like you anyways. When you put out that kind of energy, you're disgusting and repulsive. That's his issue.

0:25:12
Unknown_04: Approach Her Now, Chapter 3. Confidence. Just be confident. How many times have you heard someone give the advice of just be confident? Unfortunately, this isn't good advice and does nothing to help our cause. It is like the cliche boomerism. What do I do for the women? And they're like, just be confident. Just be yourself. And the reason why they say that is because it actually works.

Unknown_04: The issue that young men, I think, in particular these days have is that how do you meet women? You know, like people don't go to fucking, no, people don't work anymore. They all live on welfare. They all work online. Um, and I think people are like afraid. They said they're afraid to approach women in like the workplace. Cause I mean, they're working and they don't want to be like harassed.

0:25:47
Unknown_04: hr meme and stuff um it is i i assume that's why everyone just goons on discord together they all go on discord and join like the jerk off discord so they just watch porn together and you can all hear them masturbating this is a thing that young men do now instead of procreating carl jobs is trying to fix this i guess good for him what is confidence If you do a quick Google search, oh boy, I love Google searches. I'm glad that we're on page 26, and this is our third just fucking Google it that we're getting in this book.

0:26:27
Unknown_04: On the meaning of the word confidence, you will soon find that there is an entire buffet of selections to choose. Everyone seems to have a slightly different opinion on exactly what confidence is, but the dictionary gives us its definition.

Unknown_04: Confidence, the feeling or belief that you can have faith or rely on someone or something.

Unknown_04: But how does this translate into the quality that we know all women find attractive? Do women find a belief that you can rely on something attractive? How does that even apply to approaching women? The truth is that the attractive quality that women describe as confidence is actually different to the normal understanding of confidence. I'm going to give you a different definition of confidence now that will apply specifically to the trait that women find so appealing.

0:27:01
Unknown_04: confidence, feeling a lower amount of anxiety than the average person in any given situation. This is wrong. What they are talking about, and I cannot even fucking believe, to remind you, he says in this book that he's been working on this for six years. How he worked on this for six years and doesn't understand what confidence is, is actually mind-blowing. Maybe that's why he took him 135,000 tries to beat Dan on GoldenEye in 64 in 52 seconds because he doesn't learn.

0:27:35
Unknown_04: Confidence, the feeling or belief that one can have faith or rely on someone or something. What do we think someone is in this situation? It is having confidence in yourself, Carl. You want to appear that you like yourself, that you're happy with yourself, and that other people can trust you and rely on you.

0:28:15
Unknown_04: When you are a nervous Nelly sputtering out PUA pickup lines at random women you just met seconds ago, you do not exude confidence. You exude insecurity. And no woman wants to build her life on an insecure foundation. That is the number one thing that is attractive to women is security. That's why women are gold diggers. A gold digging woman, she realizes that one of the most important things that a man can have is money because money buys security. So a woman that is willing to do whatever it takes to get access to money is going to be a gold digger. But most women are going to want like a balance, right?

0:28:48
Unknown_04: And it is a balance of having confidence in yourself, having the ability to plan for the future, having the ability to plan for a family. That's what his confidence leads to. And Carl was not that. I don't know if he is now. He just eventually married an Asian woman. But it's just it's so bizarre to me. And then he goes down here. You may have noticed the giant red. What the fuck? I drew in the margins where he's trying to explain his insane definition of what confidence is. And he's just explaining it in the dumb ass fucking way of it being a juxtaposition to anxiety, which is not true.

0:29:20
Unknown_04: And these things are not mutually exclusive, by the way. There are many things that don't give me anxiety, but I have no confidence in. There are many things that I do every day that I have absolutely no confidence in, but they don't give me any anxiety either.

0:29:55
Unknown_04: And I guess the opposite could be I could have complete confidence in something that I know is going to work. I can still be really anxious about it. Like when I send out a mass email to people that the government being close, I'm like shitting myself. And the last thing I'd want to do is send like a thousand people a letter asking them and then just have it be like a complete fucking mess when it arrives in their email. Just like how embarrassing is that? But I know what I'm doing is right.

Unknown_04: But I'm still really anxious about it. Same with the merch sales. When I'm handling people's payments and stuff, like, oh, my God, that's so much anxiety, even though I know how the process works. So this dichotomy that he has created is just like a fantasy. It's extremely bizarre. No, I didn't see this. I didn't actually read this page because I just saw this and my eyes glazed over. Generally, in the first world countries, however, women almost universally understand that most men will feel anxiety when approaching, asking out, or trying to kiss a woman for the first time. So if you're able to do these actions without feeling much anxiety, you will automatically be perceived as confident.

0:30:39
Unknown_04: As opposed to the second world.

Unknown_04: In the second world, romance doesn't exist, and guys never get anxious about making a move. I don't think that's true. I think that even little Filipinos, when they're 16 years old and having their first dates, I'm pretty sure they still get anxious. They get little butterflies in their stomach and stuff. I don't...

0:31:18
Unknown_04: Part of what's funny about this book and like a grand scheme kind of thing is that he views women as like this alien species or like a dog. It's like dogs like it when you enforce routine. Yeah. Dogs like it when you do not exhibit any nervousness. When the dog can pick up on your body language and if he sees that you're not the pack leader, he will assert himself. Yeah. Women are like dogs. Yeah. Yeah.

0:31:50
Unknown_04: Or I was supposed to be saying jaw, right? Because, yeah, never mind. Can we choose to be confident? No. If you do not exude confidence at this exact moment, you are completely and totally fucked. Don't even fucking try. You can never better yourself. You can never change your perspective. You can never change your personality in any way. You are as you are, and you will die as you are.

0:32:31
Unknown_04: Confidence increases your emotional range. You see, when you are experiencing angstity, there is also something that you're not experiencing. Other emotions. You will naturally begin to feel happy or excited because the act of approaching women is a great thing that should excite us. It's just that currently most of us are so conditioned to experience fear that we don't get a chance to realize this. Women find happy men more attractive.

Unknown_04: I did not pick up on that, my first read-through. Most of us are currently conditioned to experience fear?

0:33:05
Unknown_04: What? So when he says conditions, like, does every time he, like, meets a woman, he's like, as a little kid, he's like, hi, teacher, my name is Carl. And then the teacher's, like, fucking backhands him, like, don't fucking talk to me. Don't approach me, you little shit. I'm a woman, and you're a boy, and you're not allowed to talk to me. And that's just been his experience as a kid. That is, like, traumatizing and conditioned to experience fear. I don't think so.

Unknown_04: confidence versus courage i think it might be useful to make a distinction between confidence and what we would describe as courage courage is not confidence you could be feeling an incredible amount of anxiety and still be courageous courage is the ability to use our willpower to override our body's natural tendency to flee from what it perceives to be potential dangers um

0:33:56
Unknown_03: Sure. Okay. I don't know how this plays in.

Unknown_04: He says, in the book, The Power of Full Engagement, 2005, Jim Lower and Tony Schwartz enlighten us to the fact that our willpower is something that is extremely precious and limited.

Unknown_04: If we're using vast amounts of willpower to overcome our anxiety, then not only will we deplete our willpower, we will deplete it quickly.

Unknown_03: So he then goes on to another massive analogy to compare this concept, which is very easily understood and does not need a huge expository essay to explain what it is.

0:34:40
Unknown_04: So he's saying you have to build up.

Unknown_04: You have to diminish your anxiety so that you can use your courage to engage your willpower fully so that you can pick up more chicks. And he will explain this later. Summary of Chapter 3. Confidence is used by women to describe who feels a low level of anxiety. Bullshit. Confidence is not a choice. Bullshit. Confidence enables us to take action and also makes us more attractive to women.

Unknown_04: This part is true.

0:35:14
Unknown_03: Actually, I mean, this is just confidence.

Unknown_04: I mean, you can make actions with no confidence in what you're doing. That's a courage, actually. It's distinction. That is the courage that you need.

Unknown_04: Uh, confidence allows you to fill other more attractive emotions. That was just like, that was like pure theory that he's developed in his own fucking head. Uh, courage is the ability to take action while feeling a high level of anxiety. Sure. I'll grant him that courage depletes us of our willpower. Uh, so we need to be smarter and less courageous. I disagree. I don't think that there's any context between courage and willpower. Um, Willpower is definitely a thing that you have to build up and train yourself to do, but it's not necessarily really the courage.

0:35:48
Unknown_03: Building confidence. What does it mean to build confidence?

Unknown_04: In the previous chapter, we established that when a woman talked about confidence, but they were really referring to as a man that feels less anxiety than other men. So when we say building confidence, we should be saying lowering anxiety. So instead of having this paragraph, he also explains the exact same fucking thing down here in a giant red bubble. Building confidence, lowering anxiety.

0:36:23
Unknown_04: How do we lower our anxiety?

Unknown_04: There are a couple methods known to decrease anxiety, but by far the most efficient and reliable. And then he says exposure therapy. You can probably guess by the name what this therapy involves. Yeah, approach her now. Exposure therapy. Hmm, I wonder what we're going to be doing here, huh?

Unknown_04: For example, if a person has a phobia of spiders, they may consider exposure therapy as an option. Wow. I did not know this. So women are like spiders. Yeah. You see, they like to tangle up their prey in a web and then bite their fucking head off and eat them when they're done mating. I'm pretty sure that's what he's saying here.

0:37:02
Unknown_04: Using this method, we will become more confident. Studies show that 90% of all subjects with acute phobias can be cured using exposure therapy. Well, we already went over that. When we approach a woman in the attempt of gaining her interest, there are a lot of things going on at once. An approach is actually made up of several elements all coming together. Each element adds more stress and anxiety to our approach.

0:37:35
Unknown_04: We must start small, focus on one thing and one thing only. Even if the fear response we are triggering is very minimal, it is okay. Our body will still begin to decondition itself even with a small amount of fear present. Approach in a way that causes only minimal anxiety and do that repetitively

Unknown_04: until it becomes manageable. At this point, we can add a new element because we know now handle, now safely handle all that extra stress.

0:38:18
Unknown_04: Manage yourself. I want you to realize that no one is going to hold your hand and pull you through this. Do not rely on other people if you want to achieve this goal. That is why it is so important that you start out small and set accomplishable goals. As soon as you're not able to achieve your desired goal, you need to reassess your outlook and take things down a notch. So nobody is going to help you harass women on the streets. You got to do this shit of your own accord. Don't cop out.

Unknown_04: How long does it take? He says six months. But then he says, by the way, that he took several years to do this. So this is actually very fast because he mastered the strategy now.

0:38:50
Unknown_04: Why most men will never build confidence with women.

Unknown_04: So he's going to say that when we are trying to be confident to every woman we meet, then we never get a chance to build confidence with women. We remain stuck at a certain level. We avoid situations that make us feel scared. We don't want anyone to see that side of us because we know it's not sexy.

0:39:25
Unknown_03: But how does this...

Unknown_03: He doesn't explain this part.

Unknown_03: He just doesn't explain it.

Unknown_04: Maybe it's in the summary. It's not in the actual book. Summary of Chapter 4. Building confidence is lowering anxiety. Exposure therapy... He says this like every chapter. Exposure therapy is a reliable way of reducing fear, okay?

Unknown_04: Serve the small goal that are easy to achieve. Make sure you're not relying completely on the support of others. It may take several months to see big results. Most men try to be confident and never focus on building confidence. This is like such a fucking nonsense. This means nothing. This sentence means absolutely fucking nothing. I would hate to see the kind of fucking person that can read this fucking tripe and think like he's making a good point here actually.

0:39:56
Unknown_03: What does this actually fucking mean?

Unknown_03: Chapter five, stressors.

Unknown_04: Stressors. An approach is not a simple action. There's a wide array of different skills to be worried about. We're going to break down the approach into individual pieces and understand how each of them causes us to feel fear. Once we understand each of these separate elements that cause us to feel anxiety, we can begin to remove them in order to bring our anxiety down to a manageable level. We're going to label the stressors because that's exactly what they do. They call stress. When I say the word stress, what I'm really referring to are your levels of anxiety. So more stress will be the same as more anxiety.

0:40:30
Unknown_03: Is that how that works? I don't think stress is the same thing as anxiety.

Unknown_04: Okay, so he breaks down then what is the stressors involved in approaching a woman. Stressor one, the length of the interaction. This is the funniest part of the whole fucking book. When I read this, I actually burst out laughing. Stressor one, length of interaction. Every second that you could potentially be interacting with a woman will cause you more stress.

0:41:07
Unknown_04: Not even like how long you actually talk to women. Like, okay, everyone understands that every second spent talking to a woman is just the most dreadful thing. But then every second that you could potentially be interacting with a woman will cause you more stress. So it's not even like if there's even a potential that a woman could be engaging at that moment, you are under duress. God forbid she actually start talking to you.

0:41:39
Unknown_04: I don't know what to say after hi is a common fear among men. While it is possible to learn things to say while talking to a woman, the general fear of not knowing what to do at a certain point of the interaction is still daunting. The more time you spend with a woman, the more times that you're going to have to calibrate your behavior to the situation.

Unknown_04: So he's talking about this like a Pokemon game. Like you're entering into a Pokemon battle and it's like, what Pokemon do I send out first? And then what Pokemon do I send out second? If this happens, what happens to this? And the longer that it goes on, the more variables there are. And in like a highly autistic speed running brain, if you don't have a response planned out in your head for every possible reaction,

0:42:18
Unknown_04: then you might lose your 52 seconds, damn golden eye. The issue is that relationships come out of good conversation to begin with, and that's why it's usually really important that people have things in common, you know? Like, for instance, if someone's really into guitar and you just so happen to be a 15-year fucking expert guitar player, you might actually have a lot in common with a girl that plays guitar or plays other musical instruments. You could then play songs together. That's shit to do. That might actually lead to sex. Instead, he's just like, okay, here's what we're going to have to do. We're going to have to find a line through this conversation tree. I'm going to hit her with the hay and see what she says. She doesn't respond and tries to ignore me. I'm going to hit her with a second hay. But if she does respond, I have no backup plan. I'm just going to run the fuck away.

0:43:01
Unknown_04: So that's like, that's not particularly a good way of thinking about things, I don't think.

0:43:35
Unknown_04: If you make a decision beforehand that no matter what happens in an interaction, you will eject yourself 10 seconds after approaching. You will feel a lot less anxious about approaching. If you try to make a decision and stay in interaction for five minutes, this will cause you more anxiety. I love this chart. He made this chart. I recognize it. He made this chart in Microsoft PowerPoint. I remember making charts like this and using this exact same template in Microsoft PowerPoint. So he has this very, very informative graph. Stress and time. The more minutes you spend talking to a woman, the more you are in the presence of a femoid, the more stress you're going to have. And this appears to be a very logmarithic line. It is scaled to be a straight line, but the amount of stress that you feel at one minute is only equal to

0:44:15
Unknown_04: Uh, twice the amount of stress you feel at 30 minutes. And then at the end, at the heat death of the universe, the stress that you feel talking to a woman is only half of that you experienced at 30, 30 minutes. So that's quite, that's quite a line. That's quite a line of like, whoop, going right off the fucking page.

Unknown_04: stressor two, faking our emotional state. Pretending to show an emotion that is different than what we are actually feeling has a very specific name even. It is called acting. When we feel as though we need to act in front of another person, it creates performance anxiety.

0:44:50
Unknown_04: It is just like the anxiety one would feel when public speaking or being on stage.

Unknown_04: then don't act. It's like he goes to these public places and then tries to approach a bunch of women. And then it's like, I have to act happy, even though I'm very angry. I'm not having any sex. I just want to fuck these dumb hoes, but I have to go through all this rigmarole. And I'm very angry about this. He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. If you want to actually get it in, you have to not pretend to be happy. So

0:45:27
Unknown_04: But he doesn't even say that, by the way. He just says, like, just show the emotion. So if you're angry that you're not getting laid, then just show that when you're talking to women. Just walk up and be like, hey, bitches, I'm not getting my dick wet tonight. What the fuck's up, hoes? You just got to be angry with them. That's how you do it.

Unknown_04: Stressor three, the setting. I found it easier to approach women in crowded nightclubs because most people were drunk and were just out to have a good time and be social.

0:46:01
Unknown_03: I knew that women would forget about me.

Unknown_03: I knew that women would forget about me the second I laughed.

Unknown_04: Way to leave an impression. I know I'm the most forgettable fucking face in this whole club, so I ain't got shit to worry about. Nobody's going to remember me.

Unknown_04: A stressor for rejection. The biggest cause of an approach anxiety and then is the thought of being rejected by a woman. I've been I've approached many women in my time, and I am so quick to admit that rejection is unpleasant.

0:46:33
Unknown_04: If you are struggling to overcome your approach anxiety and need to stop worrying about getting approval from other people, focus on your own self-growth. Become a confident man so that you can take any action you wish. Once you get to this point, you can begin to pay more attention to the responses others give you. You notice I have added red to this because I remember earlier in this book, he said, be confident is not good advice. And then down here, he's just like, if you have anxiety, just be confident.

0:47:11
Unknown_04: It's been hypocritical.

Unknown_04: analyzing our approach. Now that we understand the main four stressors, we can start to analyze our own approaches and understand how we may be causing ourselves stress. Example one, setting a popular nightclub with many people and loud music approach. Hi, sorry for interrupting. I just wanted to say that you are really cute. Have a good night leave. So, uh, spoiler alert. If you watched a certain episode of Maddie before this video, uh, you may know what's coming. Um,

0:47:42
Unknown_04: One of the most awkward interactions of all time. Length of interaction. The interaction should only last between five seconds before you politely leave. This will greatly reduce your stress levels before your approach.

Unknown_04: If you are attempting to lower your stress levels, then you would say that this opening without considering your emotional state, say it how you feel. This is what I was talking about. He's trying to say like,

Unknown_04: You know, say it how you feel.

Unknown_04: How are you impressing emotions on this statement? Unless you're really angry. Hi, sorry for interrupting. Just want to say that you're really cute. Have a good night. Bum, bum, bum, bum, stomp off. Otherwise, what other emotions are you sharing? Like, I guess like the dull monotone that he usually does his videos in. He can just be really placid about it.

0:48:16
Unknown_04: Hi, sorry for interrupting. I just wanted to say that you're really cute. Have a good night. And he leaves.

Unknown_04: Got him with that psychomotor retardation.

Unknown_04: Here's the best part about this, by the way. It is also almost impossible for a woman to reject us with this approach. We are asking nothing of her and we are rejecting ourselves from the interaction almost immediately. The worst a woman can do is ignore us, which is very tame compared to a flat out rejection.

0:48:50
Unknown_04: So here's your pro tip from Carl Jobs. If you are afraid of rejection, simply do not insert yourself into a conversation where rejection is a possibility. Its sole purpose is to help expose you to the stress of approaching but in a manageable way. If she responds well, this is awesome. If she responds negatively, this is okay too. The response does not matter in this case. If you keep this in mind, you will feel a lot less anxious.

0:49:25
Unknown_04: So don't even consider the women like humans who might be concerned about you walking up to them and being weird.

Unknown_04: Just don't think about it because their input doesn't matter. You're just going to head off your line and you're going to say, hey, babe, you look really cute tonight. And then you're going to leave. Don't worry about her. She doesn't matter in this. And it's an example, too, is trying to have a three minute conversation where you get a number.

Unknown_04: um and then i just love the wording of this in the rejection category the same as the first one he says we do on some level require her approval in order to get this what do you mean on some level in what way is she not having to give her approval in order to give you her number what does that mean carl are you going to steal her number you're just going to like beat her and take it

0:50:22
Unknown_04: Now, I want you to examine your own style of approaching and get an understanding about how these stressors apply to you. Have you been hoping for a great response from every woman? Were you hoping to have a long conversation and interactions? Were you trying to display an attitude of excitement when you were feeling quite flat? All of these things make it much more difficult.

Unknown_04: Once you have been practicing the system you are about to learn, you will be able to handle more stress while approaching. Eventually, you will begin to focus on getting great responses from women.

Unknown_04: This is actually the goal of the book. So all this other bullshit was nonsense. I want you to be able to approach women, any woman you like, however you like. But before we can do that, we need to get back to basics and put those things aside when we work on ourselves.

0:50:58
Unknown_04: Summary of Chapter 5. An approach is made of many different elements. Some elements may cause us to feel extra stress. These are called stressors. The length of interaction, faking our emotional state, setting, and rejection. Analyze your approaches to find your current methods may be causing too much stress.

Unknown_04: Chapter 6. The Workout.

0:51:33
Unknown_04: Theory time is over, baby.

Unknown_04: The plan outline. So this is like his Tyler Durden project mayhem for the incels. You're going to go out at least once a week, twice if you want to speed up your results. You will be approaching 20 women in a single session. The session may be as long as it needs to. You will approach in a way that causes you to feel anxiety, yet still be manageable enough for you to actually approach.

Unknown_04: Why 20?

Unknown_04: So when he did this,

0:52:33
Unknown_04: He went out once a week, every week, for months, and walked up to women randomly and said, hi, I think you're really cute, and immediately ran away. So he has potentially done this to hundreds of women.

Unknown_04: Many, many women in Australia have been Carl Jobstead. Many women will gather around and talk about the complimenter who runs away after he says, hi, you're really cute.

Unknown_04: He then says, if you couldn't approach 20 women, that means that you were doing too much. And if you were able to approach 20 women easily, then you were doing too little. If you try to lift too much weight, then you are going to hurt yourself. It is similar to a man walking into a gym and seeing other men with huge muscles. He wants to have huge muscles as well. So he looks at what those men are doing. He sees them lifting heavy weights. He tries to lift up the full bar, and then he's not able to do so. That's his metaphor. So don't try to be, don't do anything stupid like playing guitar for a woman that you already kind of know. Just approach a woman on the street randomly.

0:53:17
Unknown_04: You can increase your stress load anytime you like.

0:53:52
Unknown_04: Try to add too much, you'll stop doing it and then you will never ever be able to approach a woman ever.

Unknown_03: He says that you should be able to do it forever until you can approach whoever you want, wherever you want, and however you want.

Unknown_04: and that you should structure your evenings. He says that you should sacrifice your hobbies in order to do this more often. He says, work now, play later. You'll take this seriously if you care about getting the results quickly.

Unknown_04: And then he explains again, which should be obvious, how the program works. Each time you approach a woman, you will experience fear.

0:54:30
Unknown_04: He talks about women like he's trying to fuck a velociraptor or something. Like, sure, you really want to get that sexy velocity, right? Well, you have to first approach the velociraptor and you have to do that about 20 times a week, every week. And then you can work your way up to fucking that velociraptor. it's ordinary. It's normal to fear, feel fear, say, feel your fight or flight response when you approach a velociraptor woman.

0:55:04
Unknown_03: Um,

Unknown_03: So eventually you stop releasing hormones of fear when you're around women, and it does work.

Unknown_04: Even if you do not feel it from one approach to the next, this process is happening. The side effects that you would generally experience, such as shaky hands and voice, will begin to cease. The lack of anxiety will allow you to think clearer and have much more control over your own thoughts. They will tend to become more positive and reinforcing.

Unknown_04: He concludes, eventually you'll reach a point where it does not matter how or who you approach. You'll be able to do 20 or more approaches as you wish. You'll be able to do that because your body has learned, learnt, learnt, learnt, has learnt.

0:55:38
Unknown_04: Is our children learning or learning? Sorry.

Unknown_04: Has learned over time to stop releasing the hormones you would normally stop you. Once you get to the point where you can approach any girl in any way you desire, your success is essentially guaranteed. You'll be able to take every piece of advice and put it into action immediately. Know your experiences and approaching. You will learn and become more proficient. You will continue to grow in confidence and you will notice women finding you more and more appealing. And then I love this final line.

0:56:14
Unknown_04: Then you are free.

Unknown_04: Just got to walk up and hit him with the hey cutie. Hey cutie, how you doing cutie? Then run away.

Unknown_04: Summary of Chapter 6. 20 approaches in each session. We build confidence the same way we build muscle. If you cannot approach 20 women in one session, your approach is too difficult. As a general rule, do not make approaches harder until you have successfully approached 20 women four sessions in a row. However, the goal is for you to be completely self-managing. Complete the exercises until your anxiety is no longer a problem. Split your evening into two parts work and play. Conclusions.

0:56:45
Unknown_04: If you follow the advice in this book, your life will change. And then he explains that his program actually isn't just for saying, hey, cutie. He says most of the advice I've given isn't mutually exclusive to improving your dating life either. If you have fears that are holding you back in any way, you can apply the same principles to them. So having issues with your job, your boss, walk up to your boss 20 times a week and say, hey, cutie. If you're having issues coding something, you walk up to your code and say, hey, cutie.

0:57:22
Unknown_04: And it works for them all. I wish you the best in your journey, and I look forward to hearing about your newfound success. You can email him, pretty sure this website's dead. And then once more, one more big advertisement for his coaching. He really wants to be a coach, I guess. I guess that's where the money's at.

Unknown_04: And in case you're wondering what this looks like in practice, don't you worry. Our board, Carl Jobs, has actually published a video of his proven success stratagem in practice.

0:58:03
Unknown_00: Hey guys, it's Carl here. In this video, I'm going to demonstrate a simple and easy approach you can do if you're looking to overcome your fear of approaching women.

Unknown_00: Alright guys, now I'm going to show you a few approaches and then afterwards I'm going to break down exactly what happened. Let's go.

Unknown_02: Hey, hey, sorry I don't want to bother you guys.

0:58:35
Unknown_00: I just want to say I think you are really, really cute.

Unknown_04: Oh, thank you.

Unknown_00: She's adorable, isn't she? Yes, very adorable.

Unknown_04: Hey guys, I don't mean to bother you.

Unknown_00: I just want to say I think you are really, really cute.

Unknown_02: Thanks.

Unknown_00: Have a good night.

Unknown_00: Hey guys. Hi.

Unknown_02: I don't mean to bother you.

Unknown_00: I'm just going to say that I think you're really, really cute. Oh, thank you. That's alright. Have a good night.

0:59:08
Unknown_00: Hey guys. Guys. Sorry to interrupt you guys. I don't want to bother you. I just want to say I thought you were really, really cute. She is the most beautiful person I've ever seen. Agreed. Thank you. See you guys.

Unknown_00: Hey, guys, don't want to bother you. Just want to say I think you are really, really cute. Have a good night.

Unknown_00: Hey, guys. Sorry, don't want to bother you. Just want to say you are really, really sexy. I just want to say you are really, really sexy. That's all right. Have a good night.

0:59:42
Unknown_00: Hey, excuse me, guys. Sorry to bother you. I just wanted to say I think you are really, really cute.

Unknown_00: Have a good night.

Unknown_00: Hey guys. Don't mean to bother you. I just want to say that I think she's really, really cute. That's alright. Have a good night.

Unknown_00: Hey guys. Sorry to interrupt whatever you're doing there. I just wanted to say you are really, really cute.

Unknown_00: That's alright. Have a good night. That's alright. Have a good night. See ya.

1:00:15
Unknown_00: All right, so you just saw me do a few approaches. I'm going to tell you exactly what happened now. So let's break it down into four simple parts. Step number one, you're going to do something that's called an opening buffer. Now, this is something that basically makes the approach less intense initially. So, for example, you come up and say, hey, guys, sorry, I don't mean to bother you, but. Or, hey, guys, I don't mean to sound weird, but. So it basically makes the situation less intense for you and also for the woman as well. Now, step two, you're going to give her the compliment.

1:00:50
Unknown_00: Personally, I like to say, hey, I think you're really cute, but you can really do whatever you want. It doesn't really make a difference either way. Just pick something, though, that is true. Don't lie and say something just for the hell of it. If you see something you like in a woman, just go up and say exactly what you think. Now, step three is really important, but it's really subtle. So you're just going to say the compliment, and then you're going to observe her behavior for about one to two seconds. So you say the compliment, then you just look at her, do nothing for about one to two seconds, and basically take in her response and see what she does. Now, the last step is probably the most important, which is leave. So you've said the compliment. You've observed her response. Now you're just looking to get the hell out of there. No matter what happens, you're going to leave no matter what. So you can just say, hey, guys, have a good night or have a good day. I hope you enjoy yourself, whatever you want, and just leave. Now, there are a few important points I want to mention, though. Number one, this is really a beginner's approach, so it's not meant for advanced people who really know what they're doing. This is simply for guys who just want to overcome their fear and they're having trouble getting stuff done. Second point is, I don't really prefer this environment, so I don't really think it's a good idea to stop people when they're walking. I much prefer, you know, going to a club or a bar inside and talking to people when they're already stopped, so they're already sitting down, or they're just standing around, they're not really moving. I think that's a much better place to do it. The only reason I'm out here is because it's not so noisy so you can hear what I'm saying.

1:02:02
Unknown_00: And the third point is be consistent with it. So, you know, 10 to 20 per night, once or twice a week. And you might have to do that for, you know, a couple of months before you really start to notice the difference. But trust me, it is going to happen. What we're trying to do is decondition the brain for that fear response. So, you know, currently, whenever we think about approaching a woman, we get the fear. By doing this exercise, it's going to undo that conditioning. It's going to rewire the brain so that over time, whenever we think about approaching women, we're not going to be so anxious.

1:02:39
Unknown_00: Okay guys, so let's recap. Step number one, go in with a buffer. Step number two, give her a compliment. Step number three, observe how she responds. And step number four, get out of there and leave. Pretty simple. Good luck guys. Let me know if you have any questions or comments. Let me know how this goes. And also, always remember the most important thing if you're looking to get over your approach anxiety. subscribe to my channel. I'm going to be giving you a shitload of free good advice. Catch you later, guys.